[Number of COVID-19 infections] + [Number of COVID-19 deaths] = The Presidunce’s Legacy.
a.k.a.: The Dotard Equation
Started: January 20, 2020
“The legitimate object of government is to do for a community of people whatever they need to have done, but can not do at all, or can not so well do, for themselves, in their separate, and individual capacities.” ~ President Abraham Lincoln
“He who joyfully marches in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.” ~ Albert Einstein
“I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.” ~ Often attributed to Mark Twain may be from Adlai Stevenson
“He never apologizes, he’s never wrong… he’s the white Kanye” ~ Bill Maher on Donald Trump
“We get so scared of something – scared of communism or crime or drugs or illegal aliens – that we think we can make ourselves safer by sacrificing freedom. Never works. It's still true: the only thing to fear is fear itself.” ~ Molly Ivins
Trump’s Final Approval Rating: A ‘Personal Low Note’ ~ Jenn Gidman / Newser ★ Trump is the only president since the analytics company started registering presidential job approval in 1938 to not get over the 50% hump at any point; a 45% rating during his first year was his best.
GOP Senator Holds Up Confirmation of DHS Nominee — Psst: it’s Hawley. ~ Newser Editors and Wire Services Insurrectionist sympathizer Hawley starts off the GOP efforts to screw up the Biden Administration, even as the GOP is calling for “unity”. And it’s not even day1, yet.
“We found out he pays no taxes; he has no money; he is likely to face criminal charges in New York, ... ” […] “... nobody will do business with him... ” […] “... he’ll be generally thought of as the worst president in the history of the United States.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel Live
“ ... he who shall remain shameless.” Summing up four years, [Colbert] noted: “ ...you didn’t exactly know where he was going or what he was talking about but it made you feel dirty and you knew it wasn’t good for children.” […] “In the end, the takeaway from this presidency is ‘Take him away,’” ~ Stephen Colbert on the A Late Show
“What did you come here to do? Wreck the economy, spread disease, and take selfies with cans of beans?” “It’s not just that Trump inhabits an unhinged fantasy world, which he does, or that he and his aides lie as easily as they breathe, which they do. It’s that the entire federal bureaucracy was dragged into defending a narcissistic president’s delusion and anyone who refused to support the lie was punished.” ~ Seth Meyers on Late Night
Comparing Trump to the coronavirus. “I hope that he slowly fades away like one of his tans. And I know that he’ll never be fully gone, all right? He's basically the COVID of politics,” […] “America’s gonna be experiencing side effects long after he’s out of the system. And, unfortunately, we’re probably gonna see mutated strains, as well.” ~ Trevor Noah on the Daily Show
Imagining the scene at the White House, where: “Trump’s four remaining staffers toasted him by raising a glass of bleach.” […] They were signing each other’s yearbooks with: “I won’t testify against you if you don’t testify against me.” […] “I think everyone is ready for Trump to move on,” […] “probably like that moment when they pull the nasal swab out of your nose.” ~ Jimmy Fallon on the Tonight Show
January 18, 2021
After Twitter Dumped Trump, a Big Drop in Misinformation ~ Jenn Gidman / Newser Staff The Washington Post reports that, … false claims about election fraud plummeted 73% across multiple social-media sites in the week after Trump’s suspension from Twitter.
“President Trump was impeached today for a second time. Or as Fox News reported it: Fun rainy-day crafts to do with your grandkids!!!” ~ Seth Meyers
“The impeachment articles charged the president with just one thing: inciting violence against the government of the United States. His impeachment comes just one week before the president’s term expires. Do you know how bad of a job you have to be doing to get fired while you’re getting fired?” ~ Stephen Colbert
“Trump got impeached in December 2019 and January 2021, and botched COVID in between. Dude basically made a pandemic sandwich with impeachment bread.” ~ Jimmy Fallon
“‘This impeachment gives me one last chance to salvage my reputation!’ shouts Rudy Giuliani, as he ladles baked beans into his briefcase.” ~ Conan O’Brien
“Not only did Trump get banned from Twitter, but Google, Apple and Amazon removed the Parler app from their platforms. Parler is where all the right-wingers gather to post Q-a-nonsense and misspell the word ‘parlor.’ Trumpers are complaining bitterly that they’re being silenced. On their three propaganda networks, one-thousand conservative radio shows, and all over the internet, they’re screaming about being silenced.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“Police assumed protesters wouldn’t get out of control because they were white. They were literally wearing shirts that said “Civil War” on them. What else did they need? The back of the shirt to read, Seriously We’re Going To Attack You & Also Shit On The Floor For Some Reason?” ~ Samantha Bee
“EVERY GOP CONGRESSMAN: To all my Radical Dumbocrat colleagues: We need healing and unity. I say this not just to the Commies, but also to the Libtards.” ~ Trevor Noah
Jeff Timmer: The sin of Trumpism ~ Jeff Timmer / Michigan Advance → Jeff Timmer is a political consultant, strategist, and Warren Zevon fan. He was Executive Director of the Michigan Republican Party and served as a Republican on the Michigan Board of State Canvassers. He is a Senior Advisor to the Lincoln Project and Co-Founder of Republicans and Independents for Biden.
Arizona GOP censures Cindy McCain ~ ianmh1984 / Daily Kos Community The Maricopa County Republican Party voted Saturday to censure Cindy McCain after she endorsed Democrat Joe Biden for president in the November election.
Quotes from Barry Goldwater (1909-1998) over 30 years ago:
“Small men, seeking great wealth or power, have too often and too long turned even the highest levels of public service into mere personal opportunity.”
He said this long before DJT got elected …
“While I am a great believer in the free enterprise system and all that it entails, I am an even stronger believer in the right of our people to live in a clean and pollution-free environment.”
“A woman has a right to an abortion. That’s a decision that’s up to the pregnant woman, not up to the pope or some do-gooders or the Religious Right.”
“Mark my word, if and when these preachers get control of the [Republican] party, and they’re sure trying to do so, it’s going to be a terrible damn problem. Frankly, these people frighten me. Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can’t and won’t compromise. I know, I’ve tried to deal with them.”
“I am frankly sick and tired of the political preachers telling me as a citizen that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in A, B, C, and D. Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me?”
“When you say ‘radical right’ today, I think of these moneymaking ventures by fellows like Pat Robertson and others who are trying to take the Republican Party away from the Republican Party, and make a religious organization out of it. If that ever happens, kiss politics goodbye.”
“You don’t have to be straight to be in the military; you just have to be able to shoot straight.”
“Hi, I’m Jimmy Kimmel. Thank you for joining us for the treason finale of the Trump era. … The Capitol was besieged by MAGA-hatters in all manner of crazy costumes. It was like a psychotic The Price is Right audience forcibly taking control of the Big Wheel.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“A pro-Trump mob stormed the Capitol and forced the joint session of Congress to halt the certification of the electoral college vote. And if this is the first you’re hearing of it: welcome, Fox viewers.” ~ Seth Meyers
“We’ve said this before and we’ll say it again: white supremacists are domestic terrorists and the government better address them as such.” ~ Samantha Bee
“When you tell people who play dress-up soldier that they are on a patriotic mission, they desperately believe it. That’s what I saw today in DC.” ~ Jordan Klepper, The Daily Show
“I would invite all of these disgruntled Americans to take a page out of Stacey Abrams’ book: don’t endanger our country’s greatest legacy—the peaceful transfer of power—just because your guy lost. Get out there and focus on winning the next round. Come on Republicans, don’t go up to Capitol Hill for a government handout. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and just work a little harder. And in 2022, when all of those Republicans who are responsible for what happened today are running for reelection, let’s remember them for who they showed themselves to be: cynical cowards who believe the voters should not get to choose who governs this country.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“President-elect Biden said it best when he said: ‘We have to step up. We’re at our best when we step up.’ But President Biden also said something after his speech that hit me even harder. He said, ‘Enough is enough is enough.’ And that’s what I believe a majority of this country has been saying—has been screaming—for a long time. Enough is enough. Today was a disgrace.” ~ Jimmy Fallon
“In two weeks, on those same steps where that mob fought and pushed past police, the people who encouraged and instigated that violence—Donald Trump, his children, Rudy Giuliani—they’re all going to need a tourist pass to get in because they’ve lost the presidency, they’ve lost the House, and now they’ve lost the Senate. Today was their last dance at the worst party any of us have ever been to. So if you can, have hope. … I really do believe that there are better times ahead. Except for the guy who came [into the Capitol] dressed as every member of The Village People. I don’t know if better times are ahead for him.” ~ James Corden
The GA Call - “Far Worse than Watergate” - Here’s Why ~ hughwill / Daily Kos Community “Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me. They possess and enjoy early, and it does something to them, makes them soft where we are hard, and cynical where we are trustful, in a way that, unless you were born rich, it is very difficult to understand. They think, deep in their hearts, that they are better than we are […] They are different.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald in The Great Gatsby
• Vandals Leave Message at Pelosi’s Home ~ Newser Editors / Newser Staff Demand $2K relief checks, leave fake blood and a pig’s head — Guessing they’re not smart enough to know that it was Moscow Mitch that blocked the $2K checks?
Nope, Scrooge McTrump Isn’t Losing His Grip On Reality. ~ DoctorWho / Daily Kos Community I don’t know what planet people reporting this live on, but Trump has been detached from reality his entire life. Don’t give him the privilege of leaving office under the mien of a ‘tragic figure’. … Don’t believe it.
“Yesterday it came out that White House staffers would get the vaccine early. But then Trump backtracked and tweeted that they wouldn’t. Trump said his people don’t need any special treatment. Then he went back to pardoning all of them.” ~ Jimmy Fallon
“Mike Pence is scheduled to get his first of two Pfizer shots. I think it’s worth mentioning that Pence, who’s head of the covid task force, wrote an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal six months ago saying there would be no second wave of the virus, it was nothing but hysteria from the media. So maybe save that dose for somebody else. The only cure Mike Pence should get right now is a bottle of Clorox and a heat lamp.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“This thought where everybody is like, ‘Well, it’s my freedom.’ That’s not how this shit works, dumbass. Your freedom is this: You’re free to smoke until your lungs turn black, but you can’t do it on the bus. And you’re free to drink until your liver comes out your ass, but you can’t drink and then get behind the wheel of a car. Put on a fucking mask and we’ll get through this. We’ve got vaccines coming—let’s save another 60,000 lives before the vaccines.” ~ George Clooney via The Howard Stern Show
★ ★ There needs to be a law that any U.S. senator or representative – accompanied by aides – can conduct a snap, full-access inspection of any immigration detention center or postal facility anytime, anywhere. — And any jail.
“The president has now placed all of his hopes to overturn democracy on the Supreme Court. Specifically, he is joining a lawsuit filed by Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton. Let me explain: the Texas attorney general is just carrying water for the president, citing the landmark case of Brown v. Nose.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“In a psychotic-fans-only video, Trump said that this was a rigged election at the highest level. Dude, you’re the highest level.” ~ Colin Jost, SNL
Minimum number of people in Trump’s immediate orbit who have tested positive for the coronavirus, including anti-masker lawyers Rudy Giuliani and Jenna Ellis: → 54 ← ~ Bill in Portland Maine / Daily Kos Community
“Attorney general William Barr just announced that he has not uncovered any evidence of widespread voter fraud that would change the outcome of the 2020 presidential election. It’s so weird that they didn’t find evidence of the very thing they never backed up with any evidence.” ~ James Corden
“I’ve gotta say, Christmas has come early this year, as the president continues to shower us all with the gift of watching him lose every day, sometimes several times a day.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“Re-establish diplomatic ties with old allies like France, Spain, and California ….. Remove listening devices planted by Russia, Turkey, Saudi Arabia, China, Robert Mueller, Melania, and Billy Bush ….. Just for fun, win Michigan three or four more times ….. and finally, Purell the living hell out of that place.” ~ From Seth Meyers’ list of Joe Biden’s transition priorities
Quotes from: Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835-1910) aka Mark Twain – American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer. He was lauded as the “greatest humorist the United States has produced”
“Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.”
“One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.”
The Inside Story of Michigan’s Fake Voter Fraud Scandal ~ Tim Alberta, chief political correspondent / Politico Magazine. How a state that was never in doubt became a “national embarrassment” and a symbol of the Republican Party’s fealty to Donald Trump.
“There’s only three things [Rudy Giuliani] mentions in a sentence: a noun, a verb and 9/11.” ~ 46th President of the United States elect: Joe Biden on 45’s lead “attorney.”
“Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger said that Republican Senator Lindsey Graham pressured him to find a way to toss legally-cast absentee ballots to reverse Trump’s loss in the state. Man, just when you think Lindsey Graham couldn”t sink any lower [ long pause ] why would you think that? ” ~ Seth Meyers
“At this point, Trump is just stripping America for parts. He’s just there in his yard like, ‘Throw in another 50 bucks and I’ll give you the Constitution. Between you and me it barely works, anyway.’ Trump thinks that if he sells off enough of America, there won’t be anything for Joe Biden to be president of. He’s gonna be like, ‘Here’s the key, Joe. You’ve got the White House, you’ve got this sidewalk, and everything else belongs to Exxon. ” ~ Trevor Noah
“Bad news first: the president is actively working to undermine our democracy, usurp the will of the people, and hold onto power in violation of our Constitution. Good news: He’s really bad at it. The president is desperate to somehow throw out the votes for Biden, but like everything else in his administration it’s a race between autocracy and incompetence—and with this crowd, incompetence is Usain Bolt.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“I think we can always send the Navy SEALs in there to dig him out.” ~ President Barack Obama on Jimmy Kimmel Live
“We have filed lawsuits against this administration in violation of the Clean Air Act, Clean Energy Act, Clean Water Act, the Census, we sued him on the border wall, we sued him on Title X funding because he wanted to restrict reproductive rights for women, we’ve taken actions against the Trump Organization, the Trump Foundation, Trump University … I could go on and on but I know you only have an hour show. Whether or not he pardons himself, we’re gonna be fine because we’re ready. I and other attorney generals, we … are … ready.” ~ N.Y. Attorney General Letitia James to Samantha Bee on Full Frontal
“Even though traveling for Thanksgiving is not advised, some of you will choose to spend the holiday with people outside of your pod. But you can still take measures to help minimize your risk, [like] eat Thanksgiving dinner outdoors! A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving sets a great example for that. Follow their lead, except for the part where they let a filthy dog prepare all the food. Snoopy may be beloved, but he’s still a dog, my God.” ~ Samantha Bee
“Remember, you need to start quarantining today for Thanksgiving, and then keep quarantining, and then not go.” ~ Conan O’Brien
“This is a manufactured crisis. It is a president abusing his huge powers in order to stay in office after the voters clearly rejected him for re-election.” ~ historian Michael Beschloss
“That bullshit excuse for GOP cowardice has now been laid bare, yet the Republican Party continues to indulge the violence Trump is doing to both real human beings and our democracy more generally.”
“Ladies and gentlemen, Joe Biden did it! Finally, after four years, Americans can exhale—unless you’re near other people, then please don’t because of the pandemic. … [It’s] never a good sign when a majority of Americans react to you losing your job the way they did to us getting Bin Laden. It feels like America is—what’s the word?—great again.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“I know it’s hard to believe, but after all this time it seems like reality has finally caught up with Donald Trump. … I bet as we speak he’s ripping out the copper wiring from the White House walls.” ~ Trevor Noah
“You can tell things are already getting back to normal. This morning on my way to work I saw two New Yorkers giving each other the finger and it had nothing to do with politics. Isn’t that great?” ~ Jimmy Fallon
“Even Mother Nature got in on the fun. After the announcement there was actually a double rainbow over L.A. The Trump campaign is already trying to overturn at least one of those rainbows in court.” ~ James Corden
“So NOW Trump wants to quarantine in the White House.” ~ Conan O’Brien
“While it’ll be nice to see the Secret Service drag Trump out of office, the president is leaving behind a wave of white resentment and disinformation. Plus, out of spite, Trump is probably going to upperdeck all the toilets in the West Wing.” ~ Samantha Bee
“Defense Secretary Mark Esper was fired yesterday by President Trump, which is 75-million fewer people than Trump was fired by.” ~ Seth Meyers
“Trump’s run for president began on a golden escalator and ended in an alley next to a dildo store. … Please don’t hang [Trump’s] portrait in the White House. Just smash a mango on the wall instead and put his name under it.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
Have fun, MAGA marchers.
A gaggle of brainwashed cultists—aka “Oath Keepers, Three Percenters, Infowars fanatics, Groypers, Proud Boys, white nationalists, neo-Nazis and the people who would simply call themselves die-hard MAGA”—are planning to camo-up and take their wacky cosplay antics to Washington D.C. for a permit-less event called “The Million MAGA March,” aka “Stop the Steal,” aka “March for Trump.”
“If Donald Trump is right, and Joe Biden did pull the strings behind the scenes in Republican states like Arizona and Georgia, while coordinating with Democratic states like Pennsylvania and Nevada and Wisconsin and Michigan, and throwing in the red herring of letting the Republicans keep the Senate and gain a few seats in the House, while just barely removing Donald Trump? Wow! Kudos to that level of interstate coordination. Anyone who could accomplish that many things at once right now really would be the president we need during a global pandemic.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“They’re still counting the votes, whether Donald Trump likes it or not, but it would appear that our burger king has been flame-broiled for good. … The plane’s going down and all he can do is keep hitting the ‘call’ button to get the flight attendant to bring him another Diet Coke.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“Can we just take a moment to admit it is insane that an American president is just demanding that they stop counting votes while he’s ahead? This is such a textbook authoritarian move, which is impressive coming from a guy who has never read a textbook.” ~ Trevor Noah
“Dear White House Movers: Ask for the money up front.” ~ Conan O’Brien
“According to a study, over 30,000 Covid cases and 700 deaths have been directly tied to Trump rallies. In the end, I guess Trump was right: he is not a typical politician, since politicians typically don’t spend the last week of the election murdering their own voters.” ~ Colin Jost, SNL
“"I thought if your election lasted more than 48 hours you’re supposed to seek medical attention,” He also joked that the race was “... closer than Donald and Ivanka at a father-daughter dance.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel on "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" on ABC
“It’d be great if you guys would all get together, head down to McAllen and give Kamala Harris a nice Trump Train welcome. Get out there, have some fun, enjoy it.” ~ Donald Trump Jr.
Daylight Saving Time ends at 2am Sunday. It’s the usual routine: • If you’re a Democrat, turn your clocks back one hour. • If you’re a Republican, turn your clocks back, of course, 400 years.
“The senate confirmed President Trump’s nominee Amy Coney-Barrett to the Supreme Court. And just think: some day you’ll tell your children about this, whether you wanted children or not.” ~ Seth Meyers
“After his [Omaha] speech, Trump quickly left Nebraska on Air Force One, but hundreds of his supporters were left stranded in the frigid cold for hours because their buses didn’t show up. Some people were actually treated for hypothermia. That’s how bad it’s getting for Trump—even his supporters are turning blue.” ~ Jimmy Fallon
“I swear, every day there’s another way you can die from going to a Trump rally. First you can get corona. Now you can get hypothermia. By the end of the weekend Trump is just gonna be tossing snakes into the crowd. Free cobras, everybody! Free cobras and anacondas! You won’t get that from Sleepy Joe!” ~Trevor Noah
“There is a coordinated effort to stop people from voting all over the country. The Washington Post released a series of videos of closed-door conservative machinations in which one speaker told the group, ‘This is a spiritual battle we are in. This is good versus evil. We have to do everything we can to win.’ And another said, ‘Be not afraid of the accusations that you’re a voter suppressor, you’re a racist and so forth.’ Yes, be not afraid. Clearly a biblical quote from the Book of Doucheronomy.” ~Stephen Colbert
“Trump has cried foul every time he’s lost anything. The popular vote, the Iowa Caucus, the Emmys, his erection on his wedding night. If Trump loses, he will call it fraud and try to steal the election amid the chaos. We can stop him with a decisive Biden victory.” ~ Samantha Bee
“Rudy Giuliani is denying he did anything wrong after a controversial scene in the new Borat movie in which he’s alone in a hotel room with a female reporter, puts his hands down his pants, and appears to start touching himself. Unfortunately we can’t show you the video. Not because it violates standards, but because anyone who watches it dies in seven days.” ~ Colin Jost, SNL
“I tried to do a séance with my dead grandparents and it immediately devolved into a political argument.” ~ Conan O’Brien
“I think there is only one quality worse than hardness of heart and that is softness of head.”
“Some men can live up to their loftiest ideals without ever going higher than a basement.”
Special note for Donald Trump:
“To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. Nothing but the truth should be spoken about him or any one else. But it is even more important to tell the truth, pleasant or unpleasant, about him than about any one else.” ~ Teddy Roosevelt, 26th President (1858-1919)
The other 2 quotes are also from Teddy Roosevelt, 26th President (1858-1919)
“While being interviewed by Leslie Stahl, President Trump told aides that he thought the interview would be cut up to make him look bad. For example, they could make him sound really stupid by cutting from one of her questions to his answer.” ~ Seth Meyers
“If you’re keeping score, Trump has attacked 60 Minutes, doctors, and the postal service. At this point seniors are like, ‘do you want us to vote for you or not? Just tell us.’ Seriously, if you’re trying to win the senior vote, you can’t insult 60 Minutes. That’s like trying to win the youth vote by banning TikTok. Oh wait, he did that, too.” ~ Jimmy Fallon
“This guy is a dog whistle as big as a fog horn.” ~ Joe Biden on Trump at Thursday night’s debate
“Trump says and does a lot of dumb things. But we should never let his stupidity overshadow the fact that he’s also a heartless monster who must be driven from office. Last year a federal judge ordered the government to reunite parents and children that had been separated by the Trump administration. The lawyers just came back to him and explained that the parents of 545 children separated at the U.S. border still can’t be found. Think about the sheer number here: 545 kids. That’s not a child on a milk carton, that’s the whole dairy aisle.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“This week Trump held more coronavirus giveaways across the country as part of his Herd Immunity Tour. He started in Florida and showed how healthy his brain is, saying, ‘They say I’m immune, I feel so powerful!’ Yeah, nothing says I’m off steroids like saying ‘I feel so powerful’ like Sloth from The Goonies.” ~ Colin Jost, SNL
“The RNC and Trump’s campaign plan is to spend at least 20-million dollars on legal battles combating voting rights. As always, they’re doing it under the guise of preventing ‘widespread voter fraud,’ which doesn’t exist. Voter fraud is basically the ‘imaginary girlfriend who lives in Canada’ of right-wing politics. Everyone knows it’s fake, but that doesn’t stop Republicans from yanking off to it.” ~ Samantha Bee
“According to The New York Times, Donald Trump has an undisclosed Chinese bank account. Between 2013 and 2015 he paid China more than $188,000 in taxes. Now that we’ve found out he’s a longtime Chinese taxpayer, Trump has every right to be furious about China’s response to the coronavirus—he’s practically a citizen of their country.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
And a little daytime snark: “Can you imagine if I had a secret Chinese bank account? They’d call me Beijing Barry.” ~ President Obama, campaigning for Biden in Philadelphia ⇒ see Jimmy Kimmel’s comment above.
This morning, the President of the United States went on Fox News to threaten Congressman Adam Schiff, saying that he should be put in jail … or worse.
“He’s a sick man. He is so sick. We went through two and a half years of that, plus. This guy, he ought to be put away, or he ought to be, you know, something should happen with him.”
November 10, 2016 Read the Letter Aaron Sorkin Wrote His Daughter After Donald Trump Was Elected President ~ Aaron Sorkin The Oscar-winning screenwriter of The Social Network and mastermind behind The West Wing reacts to Donald Trump being elected the 45th president of the United States in a moving letter written to his 15-year-old daughter Roxy and her mother Julia Sorkin.
October 9, 2020 ★This Is How Authoritarians Get Defeated★ ~ Monika Bauerlein / MotherJones • People around the world have stood up for democracy and truth. Now it’s our turn. ⇒ Just 36 percent consider Trump “honest” overall; barely 35 percent have confidence in his approach to race relations; and just 32 percent approve of how the president has dealt with the coronavirus. Note: 36 percent is approximately the “hard-core” Republican “base”.
October 16, 2020
“Trump’s going back on the campaign trail and the enthusiasm is contagious! Oh, wait … that’s not enthusiasm.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“It’s amazing to watch a guy have a near-death experience and learn nothing from it. In fact, Trump is now trying to convince Americans that covid actually makes you stronger, and that it made him feel better than he did 20 years ago. So he went from ‘covid is a hoax’ to ‘covid will disappear one day like a miracle,’ and now he’s like, ‘actually, covid is the miracle and it was inside of us all along.’” ~ Colin Jost, SNL
“Dr. Sean Conley refused to answer reporters’ questions about the last time President Trump tested negative for coronavirus and said, ‘I don’t want to go backwards.’ ‘Oh, I do!’ said Supreme Court nominee Amy Coney Barrett.” ~ Seth Meyers
Clip of Trump in North Carolina: Somebody came up and said, ‘You’re the most famous person in the world by far.’ I said no I’m not. He said, ’Who’s more famous?’ I said Jesus Christ.”
Jimmy Kimmel: “Jesus Christ indeed, is what I would say. Jesus healed the sick, he didn’t infect them with the coronavirus” ~ Jimmy Kimmel Live
In Memoriam: The Obama Unmasking Scandal, 2017-2020 pic.twitter.com/RVsGRmAxuV ~ The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) October 14, 2020
“The Trump administration has created thousands of jobs, if you include every parent who had to become a teacher overnight.” ~ Samantha Bee
“The FBI says it thwarted a plot to violently overthrow the government and kidnap Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer. What??? Did they mean take over the government of Michigan? I’m not sure what that would do—endanger our AC Delco auto parts supply? Lower America’s strategic reserves of fishing licenses?” ~ Stephen Colbert
“Looks like Mike Pence has locked up the white suburban mortician vote.” ~ Conan O’Brien
“It’s genuinely hard to recall a moment in American life that felt more unhinged than the grotesque spectacle we all witnessed last night: an infectious president on powerful steroids and experimental drugs, walking around with a potentially deadly virus, making a big show of leaving the hospital, flying back to the White House at sunset just before Joe Biden’s town hall, taking his mask off in front of the cameras, and visibly gasping for air like he’s been guarding LeBron James all night.” ~ Seth Meyers
“Good luck getting paid, Walter Reed.” ~ Conan O’Brien
“According to one adviser, the president is ‘chomping at the bit’ to hit the road again. And chomping at the bit is not a figure of speech. Dr. Conley has put him on a course of horse amphetamines.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“Yesterday Trump tweeted that he wanted to wait until after the election to sign a second round of Covid stimulus relief. But then a few hours later he tweeted at Nancy Pelosi: ‘I’m ready to sign right now. Are you listening, Nancy?’ Pelosi was like, “Hang on, I’m still going through all those blank papers you signed over the weekend.’” ~ Jimmy Fallon
“People are running away from Trump faster than Satan running away from holy water. … Will the last suburban woman to leave the Republican party please turn out the lights?” ~ James Carville on All In
“Safety was a concern leading up to tonight’s [VP] debate. Team Pence wanted no extra protection. They initially said no to a divider made of plexiglass between them; Kamala wanted it, Pence’s team did not. Mike Pence believes if you’re going to separate a man and a woman, it should be from their children at the border.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“Mike Pence believes life begins at conception and ends when he was put in charge of the coronavirus task force.” ~ Samantha Bee, watching the VP debate
“The. Head. Of. The. Coronavirus. Task. Force. Is. Debating. Half. A. Year. Later. Through. Two. Layers. Of. Plexiglass!” ~ Jordan Klepper, The Daily Show
“A seven-year-old boy in Pennsylvania set a new world record by bouncing on a pogo stick over 2,000 times in a row. Said the boy’s parents: Open the schools!” ~ Colin Jost, SNL
Superspreader in Chief ~ Dave Gilson, Laura Thompson, Clara Jeffery, Nina Liss-Schultz, Kiera Butler, and Will Peischel / MotherJones The ultimate timeline of Trump’s deadly coronavirus denial
“Tonight was the opening round of Donald Trump versus Joe Biden. I’m glad I’ve already had my children because I think just watching that sterilized me. … It’s clear Trump’s debate strategy was to talk over everyone and he stuck with it all night. It reminds us of when Abe Lincoln battled a leaf blower.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“You know it was a rough debate when the guy who told the president to ‘shut up’ was seen as the classy candidate. … Seriously, did anyone take anything away from tonight? Was that helpful to any American? The only person who enjoyed that was Vladimir Putin while he was stroking a cat.” ~ Jimmy Fallon
“As for Trump’s performance, two things: One, now we finally know what it would be like if he read his Twitter feed out loud, and two, I can’t believe how hard his brain malfunctioned when they asked him to denounce white supremacists.” ~ Trevor Noah
“It’s not fucking hard to condemn white supremacy. All you have to do is say, ‘I condemn white supremacy!’ That’s it! Heck, you can even tack something on the end like, ‘Check out my mixtape’ or ‘Go Sox!’ It doesn’t matter, just condemn it.” ~ Samantha Bee
“So now we know why Trump’s so desperate to stay in the White House. He needs the free housing, he needs a place to crash. He’s your deadbeat friend who refused to get a job because he’s still working on his idea for an app about which Chipotle locations have the hottest cashiers.” ~ Seth Meyers, on the NYT story on Trump’s taxes
“Someday we’ll look back on 2020 and laugh.” — A Guy I Just Punched ~ Conan O’Brien (@ConanOBrien) October 1, 2020
“This week we, like everyone, are mourning the loss of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Ginsburg fought tirelessly for women’s equality and civil rights throughout her career, including more than 27 years on the Supreme Court. Look, I know this feels terrible, but I’m going to try my best and honor RBG with the words my Meemaw once said to me: Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because you’re old enough to buy booze.” ~ Samantha Bee
“I can’t believe Donald J. Trump gets to name three Justices to the Supreme Court. The guy can’t even name three branches of government.” ~ Trevor Noah
“Fifty-one out of 53 Republicans are now on board, while the other two stick out like masks at a MAGA rally. I still can’t believe we’re letting Trump make that choice. He’s terrible at hiring people. Everyone he’s ever hired is either fired, in prison, or in Steve Bannon’s case, almost both.” ~ Jimmy Fallon
“There’s increasing concern that even if he loses, Trump will refuse to leave the White House. But here’s the thing. It’s simple—if the American people want to guarantee that Donald Trump will leave us, there’s a very easy thing we can do: marry him.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“Scientists say that pretty soon robots will be smarter than us. In fact, they’ve started building a robot that wears a mask.” ~ Conan O’Brien
“Un-thank you to the virus for keeping us all apart this year. Un-thank you to Trump for his crummy and uncoordinated response. Un-thank you to Boris Johnson and his government for doing the same in my country. Un-thank you to all the nationalist and quasi-nationalist governments in the world that are exactly the opposite of what we need right now. And un-thank you to the media moguls who do so much to keep them in power. So, un-thank you.” ~ Succession creator Jesse Armstrong, during his Emmy acceptance speech
“NASA has just published a plan to put the first woman on the moon. As part of the plan—this is true—NASA says that the woman will be accompanied by a man, so that there’s someone to repeat all of her ideas in a louder voice.” ~ James Corden
“According to a new study, Hawaii is the happiest state. That story again: Hawaii is the state furthest away from the rest of America.” ~ Seth Meyers
‘President’ Donald Trump was asked Wednesday whether he would commit to a peaceful transfer of power should he lose this fall to Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden. The president declined to do so.
“Well, we’re going to have to see what happens,” Trump said. “You know that I’ve been complaining very strongly about the ballots, and the ballots are a disaster.”
Pressed further, Trump said: “We’ll want to have—get rid of the ballots and you’ll have a very—we’ll have a very peaceful—there won’t be a transfer, frankly. There’ll be a continuation.”
“The orderly transfer of authority as called for in the Constitution routinely takes place as it has for almost two centuries and few of us stop to think how unique we really are. In the eyes of many in the world, this every 4-year ceremony we accept as normal is nothing less than a miracle.” ~ President Ronald Reagan – said in his first inaugural address in 1981 If you won’t hold DJ Trump to this standard, you are not a patriot!
The real number of dead from the crisis could be significantly higher: As many as 215,000 more people than usual died in the U.S. from all causes during the first seven months of 2020, according to CDC figures. The death toll from COVID-19 during the same period was put at about 150,000 by Johns Hopkins.
“I don’t know that she said that, or was that written out by Adam Schiff and Schumer and Pelosi. I would be more inclined to the second. Okay, it came out of the wind. It sounds so beautiful. But that sounds like a Schumer deal or maybe a Pelosi or Shifty Schiff. So that came out of the wind. Let’s see. I mean maybe she did and maybe she didn’t.” ~ Donald Trump to Fox News about Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s dying wish to her granddaughter.
“If there was one decision I would overrule, it would be Citizens United. I think the notion that we have all the democracy that money can buy strays so far from what our democracy is supposed to be.” ~ Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg – in her words.
“Yesterday Joe Biden was endorsed by Scientific American—I assume because of all the horrible things Trump has said about science and America.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“During last night’s ABC News town hall, President Trump mistakenly claimed that people would be protected from the coronavirus when they develop a ‘herd mentality.’ Now, obviously, what he meant to say was: ‘I am bad at this and I resign.’ ” ~ Seth Meyers
“I don’t think so. I think what I did by closing up the country I think I saved two, maybe two-and-a-half, maybe more than that lives.” ~ Trump, asked by George Stephanopoulos if he could’ve done more to stop the coronavirus
“The president called into Fox and Friends and ended up chatting with them on the air for 47 minutes. After 47 minutes of talking on Fox News, Trump finally had to get off the phone and go back to his other major responsibility: watching Fox News.” ~ James Corden
“Susan Collins will likely lose her re-election. She’s famous for hinting that she has a conscience, then voting with the GOP anyway. It’s like Lucy holding the football for Charlie Brown, then when he runs to kick it, Lucy puts an alleged sexual predator on the Supreme Court.” ~ Samantha Bee
“I’m hearing conflicting stories in the news, so just to clarify: does Putin have to vote in-person or can he still use a mail-in ballot?” ~ Conan O’Brien
Judge Stanley Bastian, Chief Judge of the Eastern District of Washington …blocked controversial Postal Service changes that have slowed mail nationwide, calling them "a politically motivated attack on the efficiency of the Postal Service" before the November election. Judge Stanley Bastian in Yakima, Washington, said he was issuing a nationwide preliminary injunction sought by 14 states that sued the Trump administration and the U.S. Postal Service. […] Bastian…ordered the Postal Service to stop implementing the "leave behind" policy, to treat all election mail as first class mail rather than as slower-moving categories, to reinstall any mail processing machines needed to ensure the prompt handling of election mail, and to inform its employees about the requirements of his injunction. • The blue mailboxes go back. • The sorting machines go back. • The slowdowns stop. • Mail-in ballots get re-upgraded from coach to First Class. The Trump appointed ‘postmaster’ who tried to steal the election is Louis DeSad.
On Climate Change: Science Denial and/or Ignorance?
President Trump: “It’ll start getting cooler, you just watch.” Trump was having none of it. “I don’t think science knows,” whether climate change is behind the severe flames seen this wildfire season, he sail.
But the Baby Donald blimp remains popular as ever.
The baby name “Donald” continues to decline in popularity in the U.S., according to new data from the Social Security Administration.
The agency on Friday released its list of the most popular baby names in the U.S. for the year 2019. Between 2018 and 2019, the name Donald fell 27 places to 553th from 526th among the most popular baby names for boys—its lowest-ever ranking on the annual list, which dates back to the 1880s. […] The names of many Trump family members also fell in popularity last year. The name Tiffany dropped from 690th to 700th, and Eric fell from 160th to 176th.
“Thanks to audiotapes of interviews Trump did with Bob Woodward in February and March, we now know he was fully aware of how the virus was transmitted and how deadly it could be. And yet in public he told everyone how there was no reason to be afraid. Look, I get that as a leader you don’t want people to panic. … [But] Since when is Donald J. Trump concerned about creating a panic? That is literally his favorite thing. His campaign slogan is basically, ‘Look Out Behind You!!!’ ” ~ Trevor Noah
“Thank god none of us panicked. I might have freaked out and stayed inside for six months.” ~ James Corden
“It’s a catastrophic story for Trump that threatens to end his presidency. Or as he calls it: Wednesday. Seriously, these tapes are really bad. Trump’s reelection prospects are sinking faster than a boat at a MAGA rally.” ~ Jimmy Fallon
Rally for DJT in Texas where at least four boats were sunk.
“Imagine if Bob Woodward’s job was always this easy. It’s as if Nixon walked up to him in 1973 and said, ‘Hello, Bob, did you know I did Watergate? This is a pretty cool parking garage, huh?’ ” ~ Seth Meyers
Found: 9/8/2020 Are Citizen Militias Legal? ~ on "All Thing Considered", August 30, 2020 / NPR NPR’s Michel Martin talks with Georgetown University law professor Mary McCord about the legality of citizen militias
Full quote: Here’s what Biden actually said: “…Trump and Pence are running on this, ‘You won’t be safe in Joe Biden’s America.’ And what’s their proof? The violence you’re seeing in Donald Trump’s America.” https://t.co/WWytgZxczq
Donald Trump – commenting on the police shooting of Jacob Blake in his interview with Fox News’ Laura Ingraham.
“Shooting the guy, shooting the guy in the back many times, I mean, couldn’t you have done something different? Couldn’t you have wrestled him? You know, I mean, in the meantime, he might’ve been going for a weapon and, you know, there’s a whole big thing there. But they choke. Just like in a golf tournament, they miss a three-foot putt.”
Kenosha, Wisconsin, police shot Blake seven times in the back at close range as he tried to get into his car.
“Donald Trump’s message last night [at the RNC convention] painted a dark and dystopian image of America. Not of hope, but of carnage. What he neglects to say is that it’s a carnage of his own making. Far from making the case for another term, his dismal vision has shown us the stakes for our nation, and why it’s so important we kick Donald Trump the hell out of the White House.” ~ Representitive Adam Schiff / via email
“Unlike Trump, Joe Biden has common decency. He has common sense. He can command, both from experience and from strength. Donald Trump doesn’t deserve to call himself commander in chief for another four minutes, let alone another four years.” ~ Senator And Iraq war veteran Tammy Duckworth
“Joe is that kind of leader, and he is the right person for this moment in our nation’s history. He understands that honesty and dignity are essential traits that determine not only our vision, but our actions. More than ever, that’s what we need.” ~ Jimmy Carter
Clip of Kimberly Guilfoyle at GOP convention: THE BEST! IS YET! TO COME! Samantha Bee: “I know Kimberly’s already gone far in her life, but that speech guarantees she’ll go fuhrer and fuhrer.” ~ Full Frontal
“With Donald Trump in the White House for four more years, we will make America great again again.” ~ Actual, scripted line from Mike Pence’s cult rally [RNC] speech
August 26, 2020
“I didn’t see any of his [Trump’s] speech tonight, but I’ve still prepared a formal response to Donald Trump: No, thank you.” ~ James Corden
“You know, when Donald Trump spoke at his inauguration about American carnage, I assumed that was something he was against, not a campaign promise.” ~ Julia Louis-Dreyfus
“At a time like this the Oval Office should be a command center. Instead, it’s a storm center—there’s only chaos. Just one thing never changes: [Trump’s] determination to deny responsibility and shift the blame. The buck never stops there. Now you have to decide whether to renew his contract or hire someone else. If you want a president who defines the job as spending hours a day watching TV and zapping people on social media, he’s your man.” ~ Bill Clinton
“While the Democrats have been laying out a case that Trump is grossly unfit for office, Trump has been focused on his top priority: proving that he is grossly unfit for office.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“Just remember: Joe Biden goes to church so regularly that he doesn’t even need tear gas and a bunch of federalized troops to get there.” ~ DNC Night 4 Emcee Julia Louis-Dreyfuss
“At this point, ‘I can’t vote for Biden’ is the left’s version of ‘I will not wear a mask.’ It’s a personal choice that could disproportionately hurt the most marginalized people among us, but at least you’re doing your thaaang.” ~Comedian Morgan Murphy
“I thought Kamala gave a good speech. My favorite line of all was when she said, ‘I know a predator when I see one.’ What I love about that line is it really shows you how bad Trump is. She didn’t even need to say his name, and we were all sitting at home like, ‘Mmm-hmm, we know which predator she’s talking about.’” ~Trevor Noah
“We know Kamala Harris will make a great VP because she believes there will be a 2021. That’s the kind of optimism we need in this country.” ~Samantha Bee
“Watching Barack Obama speak in 2020 is like running into your ex and seeing that they’re doing so much better without you. They’re better looking, they’re more successful…you’re like, ‘Yep, it’s over. I’m going to die alone.’” ~James Corden
“These last few nights have been going so well we’ve decided to add a fifth night, where we’ll just play Michelle Obama’s speech on a loop.” ~Julia Louis-Dreyfus, DNC night 4
“If you missed Michelle Obama’s speech, don’t worry. Melania will deliver the same speech at next week’s RNC,” ~Jimmy Fallon
“Steve Bannon was arrested for allegedly skimming a million dollars from a scam charity that claimed to be raising money to build the southern border wall. According to CNN, Bannon was arrested on a boat off the coast of Connecticut by federal agents along with officials from the United States Postal Inspection Service. The postal service has a navy??? Nothing is more fun than imagining a bunch of postal service inspectors in their short shorts boarding a yacht and arresting Steve Bannon in a dramatic high-seas sting operation, swingin’ down on a rope carrying letter openers like swords. How has there never been a CSI: Post Office?” ~Seth Meyers
“[Trump] is a guy that blames everyone for everything. He blames the city of Baltimore. He blames the country of Denmark. He blames the Prime Minister of Canada for cutting him out of the Canadian version of Home Alone 2. Who does that???” ~ Senator Amy Klobuchar’s DNC speech
“As the only Senate Committee with jurisdiction over the Postal Service, this committee has a responsibility to examine Mr. DeJoy’s recent directives and their impacts on all Americans, who rely on the Postal Service for prescriptions, essential goods, voting and other crucial purposes.” ~ U.S. Sen. Gary Peters (D-Bloomfield Twp.) on Tuesday calling for U.S. Postal Service Postmaster General Louis DeJoy to testify before Congress.
engaged in a systematic pattern of overt misogyny against public figures who are women,
used his rallies and press conferences to spew conspiracy theories and air petty grievances,
ignored the coronavirus pandemic – (and continues to do so),
stopped help from reaching pandemic-impacted families – (and continues to do so),
sabotaged the U.S. Postal Service,
declared that he’d stop Black people from moving into the suburbs – (not realizing that they’re already there, and the locals don’t mind),
has created this fantasy suburban world dominated by “housewives.” And wouldn’t you know it, his fantasy housewives are oh so afraid of the Blacks and browns. – (These “suburban housewives” don’t actually exist in any meaningful numbers.)
~ At the Democratic National Convention Monday night, Senator Bernie Sanders succinctly summed up many people’s frustration at President Trump’s bungling of the coronavirus response. For the scale of just how much Trump has golfed over the first 100 days, read Mother Jones’ timeline.
“Joe Biden has selected Kamala Harris as his running mate. Kamala is the daughter of two immigrants, she went to Howard University, she’s a Democratic senator from California. It’s an inspiring story. Unless you’re Donald Trump. Then it’s a Stephen King novel.” ~ Jimmy Fallon
“Kamala Harris is the former attorney general for the largest state in the nation. She doesn’t take tea for the fever. She can fight anyone at any moment.” ~ Journalist April Ryan on ‘The A Late Show’
“Not only will Senator Harris be the first Black, Indian, and HBCU-educated woman on a national major party presidential ticket, according to my timeline she’ll also be the first anarchist-communist-socialist-centrist-corporatist-cop.” ~ Andy Richter on Twitter
Clip of Kamala Harris at Delaware event: “[Trump] inherited the longest economic expansion in history from Barack Obama and Joe Biden. And then, like everything else he inherited, he ran it straight into the ground.
Stephen Colbert: “Ran it into the ground? This is Donald Trump we're talking about here, Senator. At best, he golf-carted it into the ground.” ~ TheA Late Show
“That's not completely fair. His children squandered some of that money, too.” ~ James Corden
“Poll: taking Tylenol for headache seen as more moderate than chopping head off. https://t.co/oeLOtEUBtm ~ Full Frontal (@FullFrontalSamB) August 14, 2020
“President Trump tweeted today that former Vice President Joe Biden's pick of California Senator Kamala Harris as his running mate is ‘the kind of opponent that everyone dreams of.’ Said Pence: ‘Oh, I’m not allowed to dream of other women.’” ~ Seth Meyers
“Money-saving idea: get rid of Mike Pence, replace with a large vanilla milkshake.” ~ Conan O'Brien
★ HuffPost reporter Shirish Date, asked Trump point-blank: “After three and a half years, do you regret all the lying you’ve done to the American people?” [Trump failed to answer]
★ Dolly Parton, doling out the pain to the racists as she comes out in support of the BLM protests: “Of course Black lives matter. Do we think our little white asses are the only ones that matter? No!”
August 13, 2020
“In Florida, according to the New York Times, the virus is killing young people at an alarming rate. But not because they’re out drinking at the bars or partying on the beach—the preferred narrative (of the Right-Wing and Repubicans) since the beginning of the pandemic—but because they’re working. And just like the virus is having a bigger impact on communities of color, the number of young Black people killed by the virus because they were unable to enjoy the luxury of working from home is disproportionately higher than that of their counterparts.” ~ Read the article: Why Did “WAP” Make Them So Mad? ~ Nathalie Baptiste, Reporter / MotherJones
“Thank god it’s Kamala! I was worried Biden was going to pick someone else who would have made me absolutely still vote for him no matter what.”
~ Stephen Colbert on Twitter
“My heart goes out to Mike Pence and the entire Pence family on the tragic news of the upcoming Vice Presidential debate.”
~ Bess Xxxx on Twitter
“Terrorism is terrorism, whether it fits the ideological narrative of DHS leaders or not.” ~ U.S. Sen. Gary Peters (D-Bloomfield Twp.) commenting on deployment of federal officers to counter protesters in Portland, Ore.
Visionary science-fiction writer Isaac Asimov [commented on] the Dunning-Kruger effect with his famous observation in 1980:
“There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that ‘my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.’”
Donald Trump is the Dunning-Kruger president of the United States.
Thousands of Americans are dying because Trump can’t even help himself. The Self-Destruction of Donald J. Trump ~ David Corn / Mother Jones Washington DC Bureau Chief ℜ?
“Right now the only things rising faster than the number of covid cases are the odds that Joe Biden is going to be president. According to exit polls in 2016, Trump won suburban voters by four points, but in the average of all polls Biden is ahead by more than 15 points with suburban voters. If this gets any worse, he’s going to have to replace Mike Pence with a riding mower.” ~ Stephen Colbert
— Today’s New York Daily News
“When asked about infectious-disease specialist Dr. Anthony Fauci’s approval rating, President Trump said, ‘He’s got this high approval rating, so why don’t I have a high approval rating with respect to the virus?’ I dunno, man, maybe because he’s trying to save our lives?” ~ Seth Meyers
“Idea: we hire Jeff Goldblum to calmly talk this virus into chilling out.” ~Conan O'Brien
“Louie Gohmert tested positive for the coronavirus and informed his staff about it in person. He called them together in a room to tell them in person that he had a highly-infectious respiratory disease. That’s like organizing an orgy to tell everyone you have crabs.” ~Seth Meyers
“[Trump] wants to delay the election. Americans were like, how long a delay are we talking about here? Months, like your response to Covid? Years, like your response to Putin? Or decades, like your hug for Don, Jr.?” ~Jimmy Fallon
Trump tweet: Sleepy Joe Biden is just a Trojan Horse for the Radical Left Agenda. He will do whatever they want! Trevor Noah: Trump’s been wary of Trojans ever since Eric was born ~The Daily Show
“Trump bragged about passing a basic cognitive test. Which I will say, in terms of brags, is at least better than ‘I’ve met Ghislain Maxwell multiple times and I wish her well.’” ~John Oliver
Suspicions about the new database grew when it became clear that the data wasn’t really going to the HHS, but to a private tech company which partnered another tech headed by a Republican mega-donor. And suspicions grew again when the miraculous news came down that the switchover in databases coincided exactly with a supposed slowdown in the rate of new cases.
Worthless religious gibberish: 64 years ago – on July 30, 1956 – to ward off evil Communist spirits, the phrase “In God We Trust” became our country’s national motto, a move led by a Democratic congressman – Charles E. Bennett.
Cost of outfitting a Trump thug with riot gear and a medical worker with personal protective equipment, respectively, according to Harper’s Index: $750 / $11
—The Daily Show
“Our government used graffiti to justify sending secret police to an American city. … Graffiti? You’re going full-dictator over some graffiti? What's next—are you going to send in Seal Team Six to arrest love-struck teens carving their initials in a tree?” ~ Seth Meyers
“Local officials aren’t happy. Oregon Governor Kate Brown complained, ‘We cannot have secret police abducting people in unmarked vehicles. I can’t believe I have to say that to the president of the United States.’ Really? You can’t believe that? Because it’s just one of a long list of other things you shouldn’t have to say to the president of the United States, like ‘Frederick Douglass is dead,’ ‘Don’t inject bleach,’ and ‘You can’t date your daughter.’” ~ Stephen Colbert
“I’m genuinely jealous of people who live in haunted mansions right now and get to have company over.” ~ Conan O'Brien
“Today was Trump’s first coronavirus briefing in three months, or as that’s known in Trump time: about 82 tell-all books. The press secretary said the briefings will focus on Trump’s accomplishments on the virus, so at least they’ll be short.” ~ Jimmy Fallon
“Arizona has the highest infection rate in the country but no mask mandate. But it’s not surprising that Arizona would drag its feet to do what’s right. In 1992, it became one of the last states to make Martin Luther King, Jr. Day an official holiday. We know that seems racist, but remember it’s a dry hate.” ~ Samantha Bee
“I’d like to congratulate the president on a milestone. Last week marked the 275th time he visited a golf club since becoming president. It’s a wonder that he has any time left to destroy the country.” ~ George Lopez – guest hosting ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’
• Wallace asked Trump: “Are you suggesting that you might not accept the results of the election?”
• “I have to see,” Trump replied. “I’m not just going to say yes. I’m not going to say no.” He also added that he is “not a good loser” and that [he] “doesn’t like to lose.”
Exactly how is this MAGA? It’s ‘governing’ by 4th world standards.
Witness Christopher David, the 53-year-old Navy veteran who was beaten and tear-gassed while simply standing, unarmed, in front of federal forces, asked them: “Why are you not honoring your oath? […] Why are you not honoring your oath to the Constitution?” They broke David’s hand in two places, requiring him to get surgery.
July 18, 2020
“On Saturday, the Sunshine State broke the nation’s covid infection record, and yesterday Florida announced another 12,000 new cases. Well, at least they don’t have a lot of old people down there … or at least, thanks to their governor, they won’t in about three weeks.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“As covid cases rise across the country, many states are fighting another tragic medical condition known as Being A Fucking Idiot. … Wearing a mask protects everyone. Early research shows wearing masks can reduce transmission of covid-19 by as much as 50 percent. On the other hand, it’s also reduced the effectiveness of my resting bitch face. I have to do a lot more work with my eyes.” ~ Samantha Bee
“Forty-five people in a major vaccine trial successfully developed antibodies, [but] a vaccine isn’t coming until next year at the earliest. In the meantime, America just set a new record for daily coronavirus cases. So congratulations to those 45 people. Not only do you have antibodies, you’re probably going to inherit the earth. So have fun re-populating. And if you get hungry, there’s a can of Goya beans in the White House.” ~ Trevor Noah
“After critics called for a ban of Goya Foods because its CEO praised President Trump last week, Ivanka posted a picture of herself holding up a can of beans on social media. Originally Jared was gonna do it but it was too heavy.” ~ Seth Meyers
"Well, at least that's one Mexican wall Trump's managed to build." ~ Jimmy Fallon
“He’s a gnat. You just have to swat him away.” ~ Senator and injured Iraq War veteran Tammy Duckworth (D-IL), reacting to the way Fox News host Tucker Carlson questioned her courage and patriotism, on Late Night
“And to think that this whole time, I respected Donald Trump because of his SAT scores. Strike one, Mr. President.” ~ Conan O'Brien
On the CDC: Blaming the CDC is like blaming a person who has been bound and encased in cement for failing to swim. CDC has not communicated on this well because they have not been allowed to communicate with us. And anyone who doesn’t understand that doesn’t understand how government works. CDC would have loved to be giving daily briefings with one of the top experts. And they did that. And it said exactly what was happening exactly when it was happening in exactly the right language. On January 26, Nancy Messonier said, we have to act, we have to behave as if this is a pandemic. On February 26, she said, disruption to our everyday lives may be severe. This was exactly right, exactly the right thing to say, at exactly the right time. And they were basically told [by the Trump ‘administration’] to be quiet after that. So I think that the issue is not so much: “Why didn’t CDC do what it was supposed to do?” But “Why wasn’t CDC allowed to do what it could have done?” Tom Frieden: head of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2009-2017 – interviewed by Kiera Butler, Senior Editor at Mother Jones in the July 16, 2020 article: The Former Head of the CDC Has an Audacious Idea for Handling the Pandemic
“Don’t worry about those Confederate statues being torn down. They’re getting what they always wanted: out of America.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“Remember that movie I Know What You Did Last Summer? They should make one about this summer. Only this time the killer is the one not wearing the mask … and he doesn’t use a hook to kill people, he kills people by sneezing on them at a Costco.” ~Anthony Anderson, guest hosting on Jimmy Kimmel Live
“Donald Trump’s niece Mary Trump is releasing a tell-all book about the president which is already selling very well. And she just announced that she’s working on a series of children’s books about the president, including Horton Withdraws from W.H.O., The Taking Tree, Cloudy with a Chance of White Supremacy, and Goodnight, Mooch.” ~Billy Eichner, guest hosting on Jimmy Kimmel Live
“Hug your kids. Learn from Fred Trump’s mistakes.” ~Samantha Bee
July 8, 2020
US Hits Grim Coronavirus Milestone: 3,009,611 US cases and 131,594 deaths. US makes up about a quarter of the global total (One of every four cases).
“This is what we want the electoral map to look like in November.” ~ Samantha Bee
Clip of Trump before his Tulsa rally: “We’ve never had an empty seat. And we certainly won’t in Oklahoma.”
“He’s right. There wasn’t ‘an’ empty seat–there were thousands of them. The arena Trump spoke in can hold more than 19,000 people, but only 6,200 people attended. That’s one-third capacity. Y’know, I don’t want to be a glass-half-empty kinda guy, but half-empty would be a huge improvement.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“Aww, poor Trump. For somebody who was born into wealth and never suffered a single consequence for his actions, this dude just cannot catch a break.” ~ Trevor Noah
Clip of Trump before his Tulsa rally: “Here’s the bad part. When you do [Covid] testing to that extent, you’re going to find more people, you’re going to find more cases. So I said to my people: slow the testing down, please!”
“Hey, if Trump wants fewer people showing up for tests, he should just hold his next rally at a testing site.” ~ Jimmy Fallon – The Tonight Show
“A megachurch in Phoenix is facing skepticism ahead of Trump’s visit after a claim to have installed a ventilation system that ‘kills 99.9 percent of Covid molecules in ten minutes.’ Which sounds crazy, but it’s still the most believable thing that’s ever been said in a megachurch.” ~ Seth Meyers
“I just wanna say to all those [MAGA] people: the next time you get an operation, you just say to the doctor, ‘You take that liberal bullshit somewhere else. You come in here with no covering, you don’t wash those hands, and you stick them in my open wound, because I am an American.” ~ Jon Stewart, on the Trump cult’s refusal to wear masks, on The Late Show
On all the networks: James Buchanan’s ghost celebrates no longer being the worst president in history.
“The [right-wing freakout over masks] / [all those “MAGA” people] is what blows my mind. Because, y'know, surgeons wear them in operating rooms. And they don’t wear them because they drive Volvos and sip chai tea and listen to NPR. “So I just want to say to people: Great! Next time you’re having an operation and the surgeon comes in with washed hands and a mask, just be like, ‘Don’t be some liberal puss. You take off that mask and you un-wash your hands and you stick your paws in my open, gaping wound, because I am an American.’ “Because apparently sanitary conditions are a liberal myth.” ~ Jon Stewart, on the Trump cult’s refusal to wear masks, on The Late Show
“If you're missing the sensation of shaking a good friend's hand, I've found that a 4-day-old mango has a pretty similar feel.” ~ Conan O'Brien
Well, it's official, folks: The Republicans are going ahead with their [2020] RNC convention, where they'll cavort and canoodle with the coronavirus under a hermetically-sealed dome in Jacksonville, ensuring that several of them won’t survive long enough to vote in November’s election.
• Further proof that Republicans are the pro-life party … right up until the moment you’re born.
“Y’know, it’s been a rough few years these last two weeks, but today we actually got some good news. The Supreme Court ruled against Trump's attempt to end DACA, a win for undocumented &Lsquo;dreamers’ brought to the U.S. as children. Trump [tweeted]: Do you get the impression the Supreme Court doesn’t like me? Yes, I do. They wear black robes, and some of your fans have been known to wear the white ones.” ~Stephen Colbert
“Trump signed two executive orders that are supposed to cut down on police violence. But he spent the whole time praising the police. The only paper Trump has signed with less enthusiasm were his first two marriage certificates.” ~Trevor Noah
“The Supreme Court ruled that federal civil rights law forbids discrimination against gay and transgender Americans. It’s especially great because the one thing Trump could say he had delivered to his extremist base was the Supreme Court, and now even the Supreme Court is bucking him. So this was a thrilling and momentous ruling, and comes just days after the administration announced it was rolling back Obama-era civil rights protections for transgender Americans in health care. Because anytime Trump has an opportunity to be an asshole, he takes it.” ~Seth Meyers
“Hope you have a ball on your birthday. You already have both of mine. Woof Woof!” ~Mike Pence birthday card to President Trump, who turned 74 Sunday, via Jimmy Kimmel Live
“The coronavirus is on the rise in almost twenty states and experts are worried about a second wave. In spite of that, President Trump went on Twitter to brag: ‘Without testing, we would be showing almost no cases.’ And if we got rid of breathalyzers we could end drunk driving.” ~Jimmy Fallon
“Technically, he’s right. If you don’t test anybody then you don’t have any cases. Just like if black people stopped recording the cops, we’d have zero cases of police brutality.” ~Trevor Noah
“Remember when Trump was pushing hydroxychloroquine as the coronavirus miracle drug? The FDA officially this week withdrew their support for it and now the government is stuck with 66 million useless doses. So I guess we know what the Trumps will be giving trick-or-treaters for Halloween for the next 30 years.” ~Jimmy Kimmel
“I am no believer in this ‘hard work, perseverance, and taking advantage of your opportunities’ that these Magazines are so fond of writing some fellow up in. The successful don’t work any harder than the failures. They get what is called in baseball ‘the breaks.’” ~ Will Rogers (1879-1935)
“I guess our country holds the record for dumbness. The Pope spoke to the world this morning in three languages and we didn’t understand a one of ’em. But the minute he finished and the local stations got back to selling corn salve and pyorrhea tooth paste we were right up our intellectual alley again.” ~ Will Rogers (1879-1935)
June 12, 2020
“Protesters are taking a stand against the horrors of police brutality. And to show how not brutally violent they are, the police have responded with absolute brutal violence. It’s horrifying that the authorities are beating, gassing, and running over peaceful protesters. They’re so out of control, I’m surprised they didn’t ticket the people they ran over for scuffing up the paint job.” ~ Samantha Bee
“People all over the world took to the streets because they believed that black people deserve better treatment than we have been getting. I’m not like ‘everything’s over, everything’s fixed,’ but I am shocked so many people showed up for black people. Don’t let people get away with racist crap. Not anymore. It’s a new day.” ~ Amber Ruffin on Late Night
“It’s important to understand how deeply policing in this country is entangled with white supremacy. And I know you might be thinking, ‘Join the club, policing. This is America. The only institution not deeply entangled with the history of white supremacy is Olive Garden, and that’s only because it's always been a powerful symbol of white inferiority.’” ~ John Oliver
“The disproportionate hurt and harm that has been done to Black folks, to Latinx communities was precise, it was targeted, it was legislated, it was codified. And so the path forward is to legislate healing and justice.” ~ Rep. Ayanna Pressley on Full Frontal
— The Daily Show
“Trump is so desperate to defend the police that instead of admitting that maybe they used excessive force and that none of them helped [75-year-old protester Martin Gugino] who was bleeding out on the ground, he turns around and blames the old man from that video for being an Antifa provocateur who busted his head open on purpose? That is some batshit crazy theory. I feel like Trump is the kind of person who watched the movie ‘Up’ and he thinks it’s a story about an elderly terrorist who hijacks a balloon house.” ~ Trevor Noah
“What a time this is to be alive. Two weeks ago we were on Instagram teaching each other how to make no-knead focaccia, and now we’re dismantling systemic racism. I think that’s progress.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
★ Month and year the Trump Recession began, Feb 2020 ~ according to the National Bureau of Economic Research
June 6, 2020
“It’s simply incorrect to argue that mass political violence inevitably spurs a backlash that benefits conservatives…When disorder is all around them, voters tend to blame the person in charge for the disorder—and, sometimes, punish those who exploit it for political gain.” ~ Rick Perlstein – Historian, Nixon era and the politics of backlash. ★ Lots of people are wondering about the political consequences of what's happening now. – Rick Perlstein, May 31, 2020
June 5, 2020 – Friday: Late Night
“My favorite writer is Abraham Lincoln. And he once told a country that had almost destroyed itself over race to strive to finish the work we are in … to bind up the nation's wounds. Yet tragically here we are 155 years later, still struggling to heal that terrible wound. It is taking too goddamn long.” ~ Conan O'Brien
“Take it upon yourself to be a leader and set an example of the kind of country you want to live in. That might mean going down to a protest or making a donation, or having a tense conversation about race. You’re not going to get that from the White House. So we need to step up and provide it ourselves. Because America is officially BYOP: bring your own president.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“We need people at the top to be the most accountable, because they are the ones who are basically setting the tone and the tenor for everything that we do as a society. It’s the same way we tell parents to set an example for their kids, captains and coaches to set an example for their players, and teachers to set an example for their students. The reason we do that is because we understand in society that if you lead by example, there’s a good chance that people will follow that example that you have set. And so if the example law enforcement is setting is that they do not adhere to the laws, then why should the citizens of that society adhere to the laws when, in fact, the law enforcers themselves don’t?” ~ Trevor Noah
“[The White House] continues to insist [Trump’s church stunt] was not a photo op. But let’s review the facts here: he walked to the church, he stood in front of the church, never went in the church, never spoke to anyone from the church, didn’t examine the damage to the church, held up a Bible upside down, didn’t read from the Bible, didn’t give a speech, posed for photos, and left. I dunno, that sounds like a pretty textbook definition of a photo-op to me. He treated it like taking your kid to see Santa at the mall: ‘You got the picture? Okay, let’s get the hell outta here.’” ~ JimmyKimmel
★ What MAGA America doesn’t seem to understand is that when fascism comes, it will come for them, too. Black, red and brown America have been living a version of this repressive condition their entire lives.
★ Ali Abunimah: “The president of the United States is threatening to invade the United States.”
★ There were only 27 days in 2019 when police in the USA didn’t kill anyone (that we know of).
★ Arash Kolahi: “This country was infinitely more prepared to go to war against its own people than defend its people from a pandemic.”
★ Does the War Powers Act (1973) apply when the President declares war against his own country? Or has Congress given up that authority, too? – Wiki
★ Remember when almost everyone in the US political establishment, conservative and liberal, got very irate about Saddam gassing his own people (even though he did it with Rummy’s knowledge)?
– Now, the US president is gassing his own people in the nation’s capital to demonstrate he wasn’t a coward for hiding in his bunker over the weekend.
★ It was only two weeks ago when Trump scolded the Governor of Michigan for not having a face-to-face meeting with the armed goons who took over the Michigan statehouse. Same man who scrambled to his Trumpbunker when unarmed protesters gathered outside the White House wanting to chat.
June 4, 2020
Pat Robertson: “[The president] said, ‘I’m ready to send in military troops if the nation’s governors don’t act to quell the violence that has rocked American cities.’ … You just don’t do that, Mr. President.”
Gen. James “Mad Dog” Mattis, Trump’s former Defense Secretary: ”Donald Trump is the first president in my lifetime who does not try to unite the American people—does not even pretend to try. Instead, he tries to divide us,” Mattis writes. “We are witnessing the consequences of three years of this deliberate effort.”
Um… Hello? Donald?
Jennifer Rubin: “Too often we let off those without whom Trump would have been deterred if not defanged. Let’s start with those who have served in this administration. All of them. There are no “good” servants of a racist, wannabe dictator.”
George Will: “[T]his low-rent Lear raging on his Twitter-heath has proven that the phrase malignant buffoon is not an oxymoron.”
George W. Bush: “The only way to see ourselves in a true light is to listen to the voices of so many who are hurting and grieving. Those who set out to silence those voices do not understand the meaning of America—or how it becomes a better place.”
“When we start to analyze this situation and the reaction, let’s not make the same mistake that we continually make… It is not an isolated incident. It is a continuum of cases and situations that have been going on for decades and decades and decades. These are just chapters in a book, and the title of the book is ‘Continuing Injustice and Inequality in America.’” ~ Andrew Cuomo – New York Governor – 2020
The guy who took a bullet to the chest and only sought medical treatment after he’d finished delivering a campaign speech crapped bigger ones than Trump.
“The President is merely the most important among a large number of public servants.
“He should be supported or opposed exactly to the degree which is warranted by his good conduct or bad conduct, his efficiency or inefficiency in rendering loyal, able, and disinterested service to the Nation as a whole. Therefore it is absolutely necessary that there should be full liberty to tell the truth about his acts, and this means that it is exactly necessary to blame him when he does wrong as to praise him when he does right. Any other attitude in an American citizen is both base and servile.
“To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.
“Nothing but the truth should be spoken about him or any one else. But it is even more important to tell the truth, pleasant or unpleasant, about him than about any one else.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt – The Kansas City Star – 7 May 1918
Reprise #2 — c. 1967
Over 50 years ago: “A riot is the language of the unheard. And what is it that America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice and humanity.” ~ Dr. Martin Luther King — 1967
“[Mr. Trump], I don’t care if you think you are a racist. The problem is that the racists think you are a racist.” ~ Paraphrasing what Andrew Gillum said to Ron DeSantis Florida gubernatorial debate – October 24, 2018
“When the Trumpies were saying they wanted everything to get back to normal, I really did not expect them to lead with racism. Fooled again.” ~ Comment from an article about Trump’s supporters waving the Confederate Flag. (Before you ask, “who” doesn’t matter, except to racists.)
• People are starting to notice that in this way, our system of compensation is deeply perverse, since the more one's work involves caring for or even benefiting others in any obvious way, the less one is likely to be paid for it.
• “Productivity” - a term is being used as a euphemism for “Profit”
• Since the bean counters and efficiency experts were the first to run away from hospitals and clinics during the pandemic, many front-line workers, and patients, have now had direct experience of how much more efficiently things operate without them.
• “How many hamberders do you think President Trump ate after he fled to his White House bunker like a lily-livered coward with tear stains streaking his orange face makeup?” — Yes, this happened, on 6/1/2020 during the cop murder demonstrations all around the country. ~ See news sources, except for RWNJ ones like Faux Noise, a.k.a. “Fox News”
Trump:A condolence phone call from President Donald Trump ended up frustrating George Floyd’s brother, who said Trump “didn’t give [me] the opportunity to even speak.”
Biden:“The vice president, I loved his conversation. He talked to me for like ten, fifteen minutes. And I was trying to talk his ear off because he was talking to me constantly. Great conversation.”
Who is the better “leader?”:
Trump: Hid in his White House bunker (literally), shut off the lights, and madly tweeted about siccing dogs and U.S. troops on the citizens in his care.
Biden: Ventured out to meet with protesters in Delaware and offer words of hope and encouragement.
May 28, 2020
“Seems like a good time to remind everyone that Donald Trump votes by mail.” ~ Senator Ron Wyden (D-OR)
“This crisis is putting a spotlight on the longstanding disparities across our country, including the lack of access to affordable child care, high-speed internet, and paid sick leave. And our goal isn’t to get back to normal—it’s to achieve a more just society for everyone.” ~ Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-MN)
“When the Republican candidate inscribes the slogan Down With Socialism on the banner of his ‘great crusadse,’ that is really not what he means at all. What he really means is, 'Down with Progress—down with Franklin Roosevelt’s New Deal and down with Harry Truman’s Fair Deal.' That is what he means.” ~ President Harry Truman
“All men are created equal. No matter how hard they try, they can never erase those words. That is what America is about.” ~ Harvey Milk
“To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.” ~ Tina Fey
“President Trump says he’s taking an unproven anti-malarial drug [hydroxychloroquine] as an ‘additional level of safety.’ … Side effects can potentially include agitation, insomnia, confusion, mania, hallucinations, paranoia, as well as lasting psychiatric and neurological symptoms. So either Trump’s lying about taking it, or he’s been taking it for 73 years.” ~ Seth Meyers
“After Trump made the announcement, a lot of experts told him what he was doing is dangerous. Then Trump was like, ‘Relax, if anything goes wrong, I can just drink bleach and clean it all out. I’m good.’” ~ Jimmy Fallon
“Today for me is day 70 of stay-at-home. I’ve now been in this house—this is true—longer than it took Columbus to get to the new world. We are in Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria territory now. … This year for Memorial Day we’ve got a plan. We’re packin’ up the kids and taking them to the laundry room.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“What I Googled in January: ‘Who directed Ford v Ferrari?’ What I Googled in May: ‘Can murder wasps get coronavirus?’” ~ Conan O'Brien
“Let me tell you what it’s like being a comedian while Trump is the president. The Trump presidency is an 18-wheeler full of monkeys and PCP. And it has crashed into a train full of diarrhea. And now there’s diarrhea-covered monkeys on PCP running around. And everyone’s watching it like, ‘Holy shit, look at this!’ And then you as a comedian walk up and go, ‘Hey, do you want to hear a joke I wrote about this?’ They’re like, ‘No, dude, we’re good. I mean, Jesus, look at all this. You can take a break.’” ~ Patton Oswalt, from his new stand-up special I Love Everything
• • “Moscow Mitch” McConnell’s approval rating with independents in Kentucky, according to PPP: 30%
Memorial Day Weekend: “I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity.” ~ Dwight Eisenhower (1890-1969), 34th President and General of the Army, served in WWI & WWII
White House — Romper Room Edition
Even the president’s doomsday phone had to be retrofitted so he could figure it out.
U.S. Intelligence agencies have been forced to hire outside consultants to study how to present vital national security information to President Donald Trump in a way he will understand the data, The New York Times reports.
[U]nlike most presidents, Trump prefers to rely on conversations he has with close friends instead of information collected by the nation’s top spies and intelligence professionals.
“The president veers off on tangents and getting him back on topic is difficult,” The Times adds, citing former intelligence officials. “He has a short attention span and rarely, if ever, reads intelligence reports, relying instead on conservative media and his friends for information.”
No one’s quite sure which consultants have been hired to digest the sensitive security data and regurgitate it at Trump’s unique mental wavelength. But visitor logs show recent visits by Big Bird, Peppa Pig, and the ghost of Captain Kangaroo.
May 25, 2020 100 years ago! — He nailed it!
“As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.” ~ H. L. Mencken, American journalist and writer (1880–1956) - in The Baltimore Evening Sun - 7/26/1920
Jake Tapper started State of the Union by ripping on the “smear campaign” Trump and his allies have launched against a slew of his political enemies in recent days. He noted that this has ranged “from bizarre, false conspiracy theories to spreading false allegations of pedophilia to even suggesting one TV anchor committed murder.”
“These smear campaigns are unmoored from reality. They’re deranged and indecent and seem designed to distract from us from this horrific health and economic crisis.” ~ Jake Tapper – American political journalist, author, cartoonist and CNN anchor.
Obama: COVID Has Torn Back The Curtain On The Idea That The People In Charge Know What They’re Doing — May 16, 2020
“You’re being asked to find your way in the world in the middle of a devastating pandemic and terrible recession. The timing is not ideal. And let’s be honest. A disease like this just spotlights the underlying inequalities and extra burdens that black communities have historically had to deal with in this country.
“We see it in the disproportionate impact of covid-19 on our communities, just as we see it when a black man goes for a jog, and some folks feel like they can stop and question and shoot him if he doesn’t submit to their questioning.
“Injustice like this isn’t new. What is new is that so much of your generation has woken up to the fact that the status quo needs fixing; that the old ways of doing things don’t work; that it doesn’t matter how much money you make if everyone around you is hungry and sick; and that our society and democracy only works when we think not just about ourselves, but about each other.
“More than anything, this pandemic has fully, finally torn back the curtain on the idea that the folks in charge know what they’re doing. A lot of them aren’t even pretending to be in charge.” ~ Barack Obama, in today’s address to historically black colleges and universities.
May 15, 2020
Late Night Snark: “Hypocrisy, Thy Initials Are GOP” Edition
“Fox News, which is the little engine behind the ‘back-to-work’ movement, just decided to keep their offices closed through June 15th. Isn’t that interesting? Fox News, the ones making fun of people ‘cowering’ at home, is advising its employees to stay home. Because apparently they don’t get their news from Fox News.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“Trump is obsessed that the virus is going to cost him the election. Aides describe him as ‘glum and shell-shocked by his declining popularity.’ Glum & Shell-Shocked, by the way, are also the name of Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell’s emo band.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“Former president Obama held a call on Friday for thousands of alumni of his administration, and said: ‘It’s after 5 o’clock, people, you should be drinking.’ Um, does he think we still wait until 5 these days? I had a gin and tonic for breakfast, and that’s only because my kid couldn’t finish it.” ~ Seth Meyers
“Do you know what the phrase vine betraetum savitas ponum means in Latin? It doesn’t mean anything—I don’t know Latin. But now I’m in charge of teaching it to my kid. I’ve been making up gibberish and saying it’s Latin. I’m sorry, school.” ~ Tina Fey on SNL
“Cool quarantine fact: 99 percent of the time, the answer to ‘More spaghetti?’ is yes.” ~ Conan O'Brien
“The New York subway will be closed for several hours every night to give workers time to thoroughly clean the trains, while the Staten Island Ferry will be closed for thirty seconds to be sprayed with Drakkar Noir.” ~ Colin Jost, SNL
“Go Daddy has shut down a web site that hosted a ‘Miss Hitler’ beauty pageant. Coincidentally, ‘Miss Hitler Beauty Pageant’ was the working title for The Ingraham Angle.” ~ Michael Che, SNL
From the master of the inane himself:
“Don’t forget, we have more cases than anybody in the world, … But why? Because we do more testing. When you test, you have a case. When you test, you have a case.” Trump said in Allentown, Pennsylvania. “When you test, you find something is wrong with people. If we didn’t do any testing, we would have very few cases.”
~ D.J. tRump, (yes, he said that!)
From George Carlin's “Rules to Live By” in Brain Droppings, that must’ve been memorized by Donald Trump 23 years ago:
7. Don’t buy into the sentimental notion that everyone has shortcomings; it’s the surest way of undermining yourself. Remember, the really best people have no defects. If you’re not perfect, something is wrong.
10. Never give up on an idea simply because it is bad and doesn’t work. Cling to it even when it is hopeless. Anyone can cut and run, but it takes a very special person to stay with something that doesn’t work.
14. Beware of the dangerous trap of looking ahead; it will only get you into trouble. Instead, try to drift along from day to day in a meandering fashion. Don’t get sidetracked by some foolish “plan.”
15. Finally, enjoy yourself all the time, and do whatever you want. Don’t be seduced by that mindless chatter going around about “responsibility.” That’s exactly the sort of thing that can ruin your life.
Non-farm payroll jobs. (Click to enlarge)
May 11, 2020
What the next President will have to deal with
May 8, 2020
Dumpster Legacy: Fire 2020
JEERS to more fuel for Trump's dumpster fire. The latest useful thing to be tossed into the flames by the Carnage & Chaos administration: Step-by-step CDC guidelines designed to help states responsibly re-open for business.
The 17-page report by a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention team, titled "Guidance for Implementing the Opening Up America Again Framework," was researched and written to help faith leaders, business owners, educators and state and local officials as they begin to reopen.
It was supposed to be published last Friday, but agency scientists were told the guidance would "never see the light of day," according to a CDC official.
“Dear Murder Hornets: Not now.” ~ Seth Meyers
“I feel bad for all these governors trying to enforce these shutdowns. I know a lot of people probably saw these [protester] videos and said to themselves, ‘Man, if black people were holding guns and shouting at police, that protest would end badly.’ But guys, please, please … that’s not true. The protest wouldn’t have ended badly. There wouldn’t be a protest. All the black people would've been pulled over on the way there.” ~ Trevor Noah
“I’m struck by how calm and casually Trump talks about the loss of human life. It's like he’s changed his reelection campaign slogan from ‘Keep America Great’ to ‘Kill Americans? Groovy!’ ” ~ Stephen Colbert
“President Trump visited Phoenix today and was joined on Air Force One by Arizona Senator Martha McSally. Which is pretty much the answer you’d expect to the question: who's crazy enough to get on a plane right now?” ~ Seth Meyers
“Researchers have discovered that otters are more likely to juggle rocks or pebbles when they're hungry. So if you’re keeping track, that’s otter juggling study one, coronavirus vaccine zero.” ~ Jimmy Fallon
“TIME Magazine just announced its Person of the Year: it’s sourdough bread.” ~ Conan O’Brien
“Obviously, the biggest reason to worry about opening our country too soon is the warning from experts that it could cause another spike in coronavirus cases. And the second biggest reason to worry is that all of our offices definitely belong to the roaches now." ~ Samantha Bee
May 7, 2020
“… The world has watched in horror as an American president acts not as the leader of the free world but as a quack apothecary recommending unproven “treatments.” It has seen what “America First” means in practice: don’t look to the United States for help in a genuine global crisis, because it can’t even look after itself. Once there was the United States of the Berlin airlift. Now there is the image of the USS Theodore Roosevelt crippled by the virus, reports of the administration trying to take exclusive control of a vaccine being developed in Germany, and federal intervention to stop the commercial sale of personal protective equipment to Canada. The world has been turned on its head. … ” ~ excerpts from Former Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd published an incisive piece in Foreign Affairs on Wednesday - Read the article
May 4, 2020
Impeached president Donald Trump has decided to take his own hostage in the next coronavirus stimulus bill: Social Security. “We’re not doing anything without a payroll tax cut,” he said in a Fox News interview Sunday. That’s exactly the kind of policy solution you’d expect from him—it does absolutely nothing to help in the current economic crisis and will do long-term and potentially immense harm to the health of Social Security, while giving a big tax cut to the highest of earners. ~ Trump takes Social Security hostage in his latest COVID-19 stimulus demand - Joan McCarter - Daily Kos Staff
Donald Trump lied and misled—about HIV/AIDS, trade with China, hydroxychloroquine, former Vice President Joe Biden’s presidential campaign, Hunter Biden, NATO, and Dr. Anthony Fauci—in Sunday evening’s Fox News virtual town hall at the Lincoln Memorial. But all those lies were snoozers compared with what Trump said about Abraham Lincoln.
“I am greeted with a hostile press, the likes of which no president has ever seen. The closest would be that gentleman right up there,” Trump said as he sat at the foot of the statue of Lincoln. Lincoln, you may remember, was assassinated. Trump went on: “They always said, ‘Lincoln, nobody got treated worse than Lincoln.’ I believe I am treated worse.”
“The number of U.S. coronavirus fatalities is now greater than U.S. losses in the Vietnam War. And just like in the Vietnam War, Trump is AWOL.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“The president suggested the coronavirus could be cured with disinfectants, then said he was joking, then threatened to stop doing press briefings altogether, which we know he won’t do because he loves cameras more than wasps love my attic. Clorox is going to have to add a new warning to their labels: Keep away from children and the President of the United States.” ~ Seth Meyers
“I love that people are actually calling their local health departments to ask if they should try to cure themselves with disinfectants. Because that means even the people dumb enough to drink bleach are still smart enough not to trust something Donald Trump said.” ~ Trevor Noah
“The Vice Poodle was off the leash again today. He went on a tour of the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota where, despite being told to wear a mask, he did not. Mike Pence was the only one who didn’t. You do know he won’t wear a mask because Trump won’t wear one, right? Mike Pence is required to keep his lips free at all times for kissing Master's ass.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“Netflix just added a new category to their menu: ‘Stuff You Forgot You Already Watched at the Beginning of This Pandemic.’ ” ~ Conan O'Brien
“Researchers at Oxford University have developed a vaccine that’s effective in monkeys. [They] inoculated six monkeys with their vaccine. These animals were then exposed to heavy quantities of the virus. I assume by going bowling in Georgia.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“Fun fact: if an American flag and a diaper are struck by lightning, they create a Sean Hannity.” ~ Colin Jost
Pelosi continues shredding Trump tonight on HBO’s “Real Time.”
“A handful of idiots were out this weekend protesting against social distancing. For instance [a] man carrying a sign, ‘Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Covid-19.’ Buddy, you’re in a large crowd, you’re not wearing a mask, and you’re not six feet away from people. You might not have to choose.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“Trump says he’ll stop all funding [of the World Health Organization] until a review has been conducted. Stopping funding to an organization that handles pandemics in the middle of a pandemic is like slashing your own tires because you’re mad you woke up late for work.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“President Trump has decided that he’s going to add his signature to all of the stimulus checks. So a 90 percent chance those checks will bounce.” ~ Conan O'Brien
“A brewery in Georgia is offering a new beer named after infectious disease expert Dr. Anthony Fauci called Fauci Spring. They were gonna make one for President Trump, but turns out no one likes a bitter stout.” ~ Seth Meyers
“We”re in this horrible situation now because our leaders failed to do the hard work necessary to prevent it. And now that our efforts are starting to undo a tiny bit of the damage, [Republicans] want to throw away that progress and risk more lives so they can get a quick boost by election day. I know Americans love quick and easy fixes, from weight loss scams to gas station boner pills. The only way out of this mess it to finish the hard work we”ve begun. The process to return to normal will be long, hard, and sometimes painful. Which, coincidentally, is the slogan for those boner pills.” ~ Samantha Bee
“I’m so proud of what the American people are doing. … A lot of heroes out there, going through a helluva lot more than I’ve gone through. They just get up every single solitary morning, and put one foot in front of the other. I just … I marvel at the soul of this nation.” ~ Joe Biden – former VP and 2020 Presidential candidate
April 19, 2020
So, you think you're a 'conservative'? ← know this truth!
“Labor was the first price, the original purchase–money that was paid for all things. It was not by gold or by silver, but by labor, that all wealth of the world was originally purchased.” ~ Adam Smith, The Wealth of Nations, 1776
April 17, 2020
“Tuesday was National Beer Day, which is the first time alcohol has ever helped me remember what day it is.” ~ Colin Jost, SNL
“I’ve always said Covfefe-19 was a giant hoax that we should take very seriously. Everyone needs to wash their hands—or not.” ~ President Trump (Alec Baldwin) on SNL
“For one of his favorite movies, Trump is not that clear on the plot of Mutiny on the Bounty. Things do not turn out well for Captain Bligh. He’s overthrown and ends up in a tiny boat rowing back to England. God, I hope this is like Mutiny on the Bounty.” ~ Stephen Colbert, after Trump declared Democratic governors forging their own alliances to buy medical supplies were mutineers, citing Mutiny on the Bounty as one of his favorite films
“The federal government’s big idea for obtaining critical medical supplies is to find out when states are buying stuff and then go take it. When the president says ‘I’m behind you on this, governors,’ he means it like in the form of a stickup.” ~ Rachel Maddow
“President Trump met with recovered coronavirus patients today. ‘Great to see you out of bed,’ they told him.” ~ Seth Meyers
“Only essential businesses are allowed to be open, and in Florida one of those businesses is the WWE: World Wrestling Entertainment. WWE will continue to hold matches but without crowds. Is professional wrestling without a crowd still professional? I mean, at that point isn’t it just an argument on a trampoline?” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“Why me as host? Well, for one, I have been the celebrity canary in the coal mine for the coronavirus, and ever since being diagnosed I have been more like America’s dad than ever before, since no one wants to be around me very long and I make people uncomfortable.” ~ Tom Hanks, hosting the return of SNL
April 16, 2020
JEERS to disrespecting the one whut brung ya to the dance. Just a quick reminder that Rupert Murdoch s flagship joint has been crazy for a long time. Five years ago today, Fox News openly wondered if we should bring back literacy tests during elections so that we don’t have a bunch of dense, ignorant, fact-averse truthiness trolls voting on the critical issues and candidates of the day. Which brings up a serious question: why does Fox want to prevent its viewers from voting? ~ ‘Bill in Portland Maine’ in Cheers and Jeers: Thursday 4/16/2020
Found: April 18, 2020
“I am opposing a social order in which it is possible for one man who does absolutely nothing that is useful to amass a fortune of hundreds of millions of dollars, while millions of men and women who work all the days of their lives secure barely enough for a wretched existence.” ~ Eugene Debs, Statement to the Court, Sept. 18, 1918
April 13, 2020
Percent of voters in a new CNN poll who trust Biden and Trump, respectively, to do a better job of handling the coronavirus emergency: 52%, 43%
Percent who trust Biden and Trump, respectively, to do a better job on health care: 57%, 39%
Bonus Edition - April 13, 2020
COVID-19 Warnings Ignored by President Trump
(A Partial List)
January 2017: 70-page warning from outgoing Obama administration
January, 2018: Results of HHS pandemic simulation released
May, 2018: Warnings not to disband NSC Pandemic Task Force
October, 2019: Funding pulled for pandemic early-warning system
Late November, 2019: Intelligence officials issue dire threat assessment
January 1, 2020: Virus begins to dominate info in Trump's PDBs
January 27, 2020: Standing-room-only NSC Situation Room briefing
January 28, 2020: Email via Dr. Carter Mecher, Department of Veterans Affairs
January 29, 2020: Urgent memo from trade adviser Peter Navarro
January 30, 2020: WHO declares virus a global health emergency
February 5, 2020: Funding request by HHS for pandemic equipment denied by OMB
February 14, 2020: NSC memo: “U.S. Government Response to Novel Coronavirus”
February 24, 2020: Dr. Roberk Kedlac presents plan titled “Four Steps to Mitigation”
March 11, 2020: Hair-on-fire email chain from former DHS director
BONUS: April 13, 2020 — Democratic governors in the Northeast and along the West Coast on Monday announced separate state compacts to coordinate one of their biggest challenges in the weeks to come: How to begin reopening society amid the coronavirus pandemic. ~ stories all over the web. ★ → As you’'d expect, Trump is taking the news well, declaring himself king over everyone everywhere. He also proclaimed that when he’s done using the Constitution as toilet paper he plans to move on to the Declaration of Independence.
American deaths from the coronavirus passed Italy’s, affirming the United States’ spot as the epicenter of the global pandemic.
Deaths from the virus reached more than 19,880 in the U.S., according to data compiled by Johns Hopkins University. Italy had almost 19,500 fatalities. The U.S. figure was expected to rise throughout the day as more states report data.
The heavy toll in the U.S.–and much of Europe–is linked to the failure to enact widespread measures like mass testing and social distancing early enough to prevent the virus from taking hold. Parts of the U.S. were still not locked down in recent days, creating the opportunity for wider spread in places that haven't suffered as much as hot spots in New York and Detroit.
That the U.S. has more deaths than Italy isn’t that surprising given that its population of 330 million is five times greater. The statistics may also be incomplete, due to differences in testing and reporting among countries.
Yet the U.S. had weeks to see what was coming, as China writhed under the pandemic in January and then Europe began suffering just weeks later. Critics have charged the U.S. with squandering precious time that could have been spent building testing capacity or stockpiling medical supplies that are now hard to find. By Feb. 26, Italy was locking down whole towns and regions beset by the virus.
That day, President Donald Trump said at a White House press briefing that the U.S. had the situation “ ... so well under control. ... ” There were only 15 cases of coronavirus across the country, he said, and “ ... we're going very substantially down, not up. ... ”
WHO Director-General Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus has chided the U.S., along with China, as they blame one another for the severity of the epidemic. The two superpowers must show “honest leadership” or risk turning the outbreak into an even bigger crisis, he said at a briefing on April 8.
~ by Tim Loh - (c)2020 Bloomberg News (www.bloomberg.com)
April 10, 2020
“I am practicing every safe directive they say I should. I make sure to use a disinfectant on every surface that has at least 60 percent alcohol in it like Judge Jeanine Pirro.” ~ Bill Maher
“Nothing gives away the game about how badly Trump has handled this like telling us now that we have to ‘forget about it’ when it’s over. During World War II, Winston Churchill wasn’t thinking, ‘I never want to hear about this again.’ He was chompin’ on a cigar thinking, ‘When this is over, there are gonna be a million books about how hard I crushed this shit.” ~ Seth Meyers
“Bernie Sanders has officially announced that he’s ending his campaign. Even though Bernie lost two presidential races, you can’t argue that he’s had an impact on America. He’s pushed Medicare-for-all into the mainstream. He shined a light on income inequality and how corporations have used money to rig the system in their favor. And he showed us all that it’s okay to use our outdoor voice indoors.” ~ Trevor Noah
“[Trump] loves the chart that shows the number of coronavirus tests we’ve done so far. It goes all the way up to two million, which seems like a lot until you consider there are 330 million Americans. But don’t ask him about it—everything is “perfect” and “great.” At this point it’s like the captain of the Titanic ordering the band to play louder to drown out the screams.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“My god, Jared Kushner is now kind of in charge of our response. I have no idea why. Maybe the virus isn’t as effective against prep school vampires?” ~ Samantha Bee
John Oliver: Jared Kushner, a man who looks less like someone who could handle a global pandemic and more like an ultra-right Pinocchio, suggested that states should not count on a federal stockpile of medical supplies.
• Clip of Kushner at press briefing: The federal stockpile is supposed to be our stockpile, it’s not supposed to be the states’ stockpile that they then use.
John Oliver: It’s a national stockpile that’s used by the United States, you f*cking moron. And here’s the interesting thing about the United States: it’s almost entirely made of states! … I know Jared Kushner must have a stockpile of empathy in there somewhere. But it appears that that’s his empathy, and he’s not allowed to extend it to anyone else. ~ Last Week Tonight
“Despite the fact that every other state has postponed its primary this month, or moved to mail-in ballots, at the insistence of the Wisconsin Republican-led legislature the Badger State went ahead with their primary. I guess it’s Wisconsin’s way of showing New Hampshire that you can live free and die.” ~ Stephen Colbert
Bonus Edition: April 6, 2020
“JEERS to covering up your tracks. America’s most smackable brat, Jared Kushner, emerged from his dorm room last week to inform us all that the federal stockpiles of masks, PPEs and ventilators are—I’m reading off the transcript here so I repeat it as accurately as possible—“Mine mine mine not yours you stupid states mine get away from them back back I say they’re not leaving this office not now not ever.” And since those stockpiles really do belong to the states, wrong-again Jared Noodleneck had to race to the internet machine to cover up his tracks:
” ~ ‘Bill in Portland Maine’ in Cheers and Jeers: Monday 4/6/2020
• Trump admits he hasn’t read Bill in Portland Maine’s Cheers and Jeers—but is angry about it anyway ~ Raw Story – 4/8/2020
April 4, 2020
Clip of Trump: “I’m a wartime president. This is a war. Different kind of a war that we've never had.” John Oliver: “Yeah. I guess it is different, isn’t it? It's like World War II and the enemy is invisible. Or the Vietnam War, only this time Trump is actually taking part.” ~ Last Week Tonight
“Jared Kushner is working tirelessly to figure out how this virus got into Harvard without help.” ~ Trevor Noah
“The longer this goes on, the harder it’s going to be to return to a society where pants are required.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“My boredom has reached ‘Memorize the Vice Presidents’ level.” ~ Conan O'Brien
“It’s scary enough to give birth when there’s not a pandemic. The demand for home births is rising. Midwives are getting booked up faster than The Cheesecake Factory during prom season. Well, not this prom season. This year’s prom is on Zoom. The theme? Don’t die.” ~ Samantha Bee
“The positive news is the president, for once, appears to have listened to someone. Despite originally saying everybody would be back to work by Easter, he announced he’ll extend social-distancing guidelines through April 30th. I’m honestly surprised he didn’t just say he's moving Easter: ‘I spoke to Jesus. He said, sir, if you need to move easter, I will wait to rise again.’” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“Yesterday it was announced that Ford is going to build 50,000 ventilators in a hundred days, and GM is also racing to make their own ventilators. And because they’re American car makers, these ventilators will come with sixteen cup holders and a pair of truck nuts.Stephen Colbert” ~ Stephen Colbert
March 26, 2020
“After Trump made a big deal about it not being a big deal in West Virginia, last night we found out that West Virginia is the 50th state to report a coronavirus case. So now we’re all in this together. No red states or blue states, just fifty anxious pale states. This is a crisis that we have to face together… by staying as far apart as possible.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“Basically, for the time being, pretend you’re a British parent and everyone else in the world is your child: keep as much distance as you can, avoid physical contact at all costs, and if any one of them tries to give you a hug, reject it.” ~ John Oliver
“Right now we are living in a disaster movie in which the president is being played by Gary Busey.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“If a loaded diaper ran for office opposite this troll of a president, I would race to the polls to vote for it.” ~ Samantha Bee
“Maybe the only upside to this virus is that I can now blame it for the days I stay in, talk to no one, watch movies, and eat frozen pizza.” ~ Conan O’Brien
“Y’know, just be logical. Follow the CDC’s recommendations, avoid crowds, wash your hands, and don’t elect a moron president.” ~ Bill Maher
“JEERS to how far we’ve fallen. Exactly one year ago (3/21/2019), Donald Trump's second Secretary of State in less than two years held a conference call with a bunch of right-wing religious outlets to plan for The Rapture, but not before he was called a “butt boy” for a “wannabe dictator” on national TV.” ~ ‘Bill in Portland Maine’ in Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Resistance FRIDAY!
“CHEERS to order in the court. Lest we forget, Donald Trump isn’t just the worst president in U.S. history. He isn’t just a cowardly draft dodger, nor is he just a shitty husband, deadbeat dad, massive failure as a businessman, or huge success as a racist slumlord. He’s also a criminal. And on Monday he got caught criming again:” ~ ‘Bill in Portland Maine’ in Cheers and Jeers: Wednesday – 4/1/2020
JEERS to the ditherer in chief. All Trump had to do to secure his place in the history books as a great leader during a crisis—literally the only thing—was to focus the full power of the federal government on getting hospitals whatever they needed and get people tested for COVID-19. It was within his power. It would’ve boiled down to three words: “Do it now.” But no. He had to golf. And do his hate rallies. And exact revenge on his enemies. And claim the death toll would peak at 15. And now here we are. And here he is—Buchanan, Harding and Nixon all rolled into one colossal bad person dripping with indifference, ignorance, and corruption:
More voters say the Trump administration isn’t doing enough to combat the coronavirus outbreak, according to a new POLITICO/Morning Consult poll. … 47 percent of voters feel the administration isn’t doing enough in response to the outbreak, [up 4 points and] greater than the 40 percent who feel the administration is doing the right amount.
[T]wo Democratic polls conducted in recent days—from Navigator and Daily Kos/Civiqs—show more respondents say they disapprove of the way Trump is handling the situation then in surveys conducted last week. That is despite Trump’s previous polling bounce, as some Democratic and independent voters rallied behind him during the early days of the crisis.
~ ‘Bill in Portland Maine’ in Cheers and Jeers: Thursday – 4/2/2020
March 13, 2020
“It’s only March, and 2020 has done the impossible: made me nostalgic for 2019.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“At a press conference yesterday, President Trump encouraged Americans to remain calm throughout the coronavirus, and added it ‘will go away.’ I don’t know. I’ve been super-calm for three years now and you're still here.” ~ Seth Meyers
“Somebody tell Trump that coronavirus is a woman so he’ll start treating it like an actual threat.” ~ Samantha Bee
“President Trump is continuing to downplay the risks of the coronavirus. Today he said, ‘Relax, you’re far more likely to die from the cuts I made to Obamacare.’” ~ Conan
“Because of the virus, the mayor of Boston announced that their annual St. Patrick’s Day parade has been cancelled. The mayor asked if, instead of drinking, puking, and blacking out in the streets, people could make the mature choice and do it at home.” ~ Jimmy Fallon
“The Council on Foreign Relations has cancelled a coronavirus conference because of the coronavirus. In related news, the International Irony Festival is going ahead as planned.” ~ Stephen Colbert
• March 24, 2020 - U.S. adults who say they completely trust Trump and completely don't trust Trump, respectively, to give accurate information on the coronavirus pandemic: 16%, 40%. ~ in the latest Commonwealth Fund survey
“He has no empathy or concern for anybody but himself and so he will not care about the destruction that it will cause other people. In fact, because of his sadism, there’s a part of him that perversely seems to revel in causing chaos and destruction and making us all frightened all the time, but even more importantly, it will be irresistible for him because it will transform him from feeling like a hunted victim of this witch hunt to feeling like an omnipotently destructive victor.” ~ Dr. John Gartner, co-founder of the Duty to Warn PAC
“Donald Trump’s early development, created who we are witnessing. … [H]is father’s intensity left its mark on the entire family. Donald’s oldest brother essentially killed himself under his father’s rule. This tragedy must have played a prominent role in the formation of Donald’s identity and left minimal room to rebel against his father’s authority, except through competition in the realm of business success. Despite their appreciation for each other, the tension between father and son caused Donald psychological wounds that still fester.” ~ Psychiatrist Steve Wruble
“His father had similar mental health disturbances, lessening the possibility that the younger Trump’s behavioral problems would be addressed.” … [Trump] “exhibits extreme denial of any feedback that does not affirm his self-image and psychopathic tendencies, which affords him very limited ability to learn and effectively adjust to the requirements of the office of president. Rather, he consistently displays a revenge-oriented response to any such feedback.” ~ Therapist Diane Jhueck
“We were concerned that, given his ‘straightforward’ or ‘outsider’ presentation and charisma, he would appeal to people who were unaware of the dangers of his obvious narcissistic personality type, and the offensive behaviors that can accompany it. These behaviors include but are not limited to condescension, gross exaggeration (lying), bullying, jealousy, fragile self-esteem, lack of compassion, and viewing the world as Us-vs.-Them. Having observed the schoolyard-bully tactics Trump employed during public debates, as well as his boasting presentation during interviews, we felt it was important to raise awareness about his behaviors … ” ~ Stanford University professor emeritus Philip Zimbardo and Rosemary Sword in their column for Psychology Today
“The failure of normal empathy, is central to sociopathy, which is marked by an absence of guilt, intentional manipulation and controlling or even sadistically harming others for personal power or gratification.” ~ Lance Dodes, a retired psychiatry professor at Harvard Medical School author of “The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump.”
March 3, 2020
“While clinical trials are underway, there’s no treatment for the coronavirus at the moment, and a vaccine could take between a year and 18 months to develop. You may be wondering: how scared should you be? And the answer is, probably a bit. It’s really about trying to strike a sensible balance. If you’re drinking bleach to protect yourself right now, you should probably calm the fuck down. If you're, say, licking subway poles because you’re certain nothing can hurt you, maybe don’t do that. You want to stay somewhere between those extremes: don’t be complacent, and don’t be a fucking idiot.” ~ John Oliver
“As a practical matter, until experts advise that this [coronavirus] threat is over, we should all be following some basic advice. First: don’t be racist. That's just good general advice, for now and for later.” ~ John Oliver
“We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men and women are created equal.” ~ Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Declaration of Rights and Sentiments (1845)
“It was we, the people; not we, the white male citizens; nor yet we, the male citizens; but we, the whole people, who formed the Union” … “Men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less.” ~ Susan B. Anthony
“There is no limit to what we, as women, can accomplish.”
~ Michelle Obama
“The word’s out: I’m a woman, and I’m going to have trouble backing off on that. I am what I am. I’ll go out and talk to people about what’s happening to their families, and when I do that, I’m a mother. I’m a grandmother.” ~ Elizabeth Warren
“Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the husbands. Remember all men would be tyrants if they could. If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies we are determined to foment a rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice, or representation.” ~ Abigail Adams
“As you know, there’s a difference in how some of our leadership talk about how we should handle all of this. They say, ‘Maxine, please don’t say impeachment anymore.’ And when they say that, I say impeachment, impeachment, impeachment, impeachment, impeachment, impeachment, impeachment, impeachment.” ~ Rep. Maxine Waters
“At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else.” ~ Shirley Chisholm
“I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.” ~ Maya Angelou
February 21, 2020
“In a tweet arguing with the CDC's plan for the coronavirus, President Trump misspelled 'coronavirus.' Even worse, Trump also misspelled CDC.” ~ Conan O'Brien
“The stock market was down a lot again today because of the coronavirus, which is spreading. This morning the president tweeted that the coronavirus 'is very much under control in the USA.' Which means we're in a lot of trouble. I mean, we just found out they had to trick him into eating vegetables. Do we really think he has a handle on the coronavirus?” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“There's a reason Trump's trying to downplay the coronavirus fears. If the CDC is right about this outbreak, it might be Trump's fault, because in 2018 the trump administration fired the government's entire pandemic response chain of command. Trump did not replace them. So currently our pandemic response team is Ivanka and a bottle of Airborne.” ~ Stephen Colbert
February 21, 2020
“Today I bashed people on Twitter, ate junk food and went to a strip club. How did you celebrate ‘President’s Day’?” ~ Conan O'Brien
“This is really insane. Parts of the border wall are being knocked down by wind? Trump shouldn’t tolerate this. He needs to go down to the border and teach these walls how to handle the wind. Because if there's one thing Trump knows, it's how to dodge a draft.” ~ Trevor Noah
“The president has been impeached. That's a pretty big lesson. I believe he will be more cautious in the future.” ~ Clip of Susan Collins on CBS News
“What are you talking about, Susan? Of course he hasn’t learned his lesson. Trump never learns his lesson. This is a man whose first child was Donald Trump, Jr. and he kept having children!” ~ John Oliver, - Last Week Tonight
“Mike Pence looks like he visits Westworld for the architecture.” ~ Samantha Bee
February 14, 2020
“Lt. Colonel Vindman, who testified during President Trump’s impeachment, was escorted from the White House and fired. Now, you might recall that Vindman received the Purple Heart due to a wound in combat, while Trump has a Purple Heart because his blood type is hamburger grease.” ~ Michael Che, SNL
“In addition to firing two key impeachment witnesses, Trump also fired Lt. Colonel Alexander Vindman’s twin brother, an ethics lawyer who wasn’t even involved in the trial. It’s the kind of thing dictators do, although it’s hard to tell how much of Trump is dictator and how much is just a dick.” ~ Samantha Bee
“They told me I have 45 seconds up here, which is more than the Senate gave John Bolton this week. Maybe Quentin will make a movie about it and in the end the adults will do the right thing.” ~ Once Upon A Time...in Hollywood’s Brad Pitt at the Oscars
“According to a new report, Senator Bernie Sanders has had more fundraising success with Latinos than any other candidate. But once they hear Mike Bloomberg speak Spanish...that won’t change.” ~ Seth Meyers
“Two candidates dropped out of the race last night: Andrew Yang and Michael Bennett. Andrew Yang told his supporters, ‘Thank you for this amazing ride,’ while Michael Bennett told his supporters, ‘Come on, son, let's go home.’” ~ Conan O'Brien
“The media is eager to crown a winner and dump on the losers, but the truth is it takes like 2,000 delegates to win the nomination. Iowa and New Hampshire combined have 65, and neither state is demographically representative of anything other than a Jimmy Buffet concert. So declaring a front-runner at this point is like picking a plastic surgeon based on two Yelp reviews.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“The virusssssssss. They’re working hard. Looks like, by April, you know, in theory, when it gets a little warmer it miraculously goes away.” ~ Trump explaining his detailed plan for dealing with the coronavirus at his New Hampshire cult rally
“It would be fun to have Susan Collins as a teacher because she’d just give everyone A’s in the hopes they’ll one day learn something.” ~ Stephen Colbert
February 7, 2020
“After President Trump gave his State of the Union address, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi tore it in half. Then Melania said, ‘Great—now do my prenup.’” ~ Conan O'Brien
“[Fox News is right], my friends. When Nancy Pelosi tore up a copy of Trump’s speech, she wasn't just ripping up a speech. She was ripping up the memory of the people in that speech. Those people are gone now. That’s how paper works. Like one time I was at dinner and the waiter ripped up my receipt, and then I was hungry again.” ~ Trevor Noah
“Minority leader Chuck Schumer said that from here on, Trump’s presidency will always have an asterisk next to it. And Lindsey Graham will be there to kiss that asterisk at all times.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“[Senator Susan Collins] now says she probably shouldn't have said she 'believes' President Trump has learned his lessons from the fallout from his dealings with Ukraine and impeachment. She now says a better word would've been ‘hopes.’ Yes, and a better word than ‘Senator’ Susan Collins would be ‘Former’ Senator Susan Collins.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“In a new book, John Bolton claims that last August President Trump told him directly that he was holding up aid to Ukraine until they investigate the Bidens. Hey, guys, what’s up with the books? When there's an emergency, just tell us right away. If your friend—s about to get murdered, you don’t go off and write a novel called The Killer Behind You.” ~ Colin Jost, SNL
“The Palestinian president has rejected Trump’s Middle East peace plan, saying ‘a thousand noes’ to the deal. Incidentally, a thousand noes is what Trump calls consent.” ~ Michael Che, SNL
January 31, 2020
“Democrats spent three days laying out in great detail how they believe President Trump has been the most egregious abuser of power in American history. And then Republicans laid out their defense: the shrug emoji.” ~ Colin Jost, SNL
“Trump is all worked up about Bolton's book, in which he says the president personally told him he was holding up aid for Ukraine in exchange for dirt on the Biden family. The White House doesn’t want anyone to read this. They sent a threatening letter telling him he’s not allowed to publish the book because it appears to contain significant amounts of classified information. Which is funny coming from the guy who'll give the nuclear codes to anyone standing in line at the Mar-A-Lago omelet bar.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“According to sources, former national security adviser John Bolton told conservative donors he thinks President Trump is mentally unstable. But I'm sure he'll clear up that misconception with a hundred and fifty tweets at 3am.” ~ Seth Meyers
“It's clearly obvious. Fox is now done with Bolton because he went against Donald Trump. And at Fox News, you can do a lot of things, but there's two things you can never do: criticize Trump … or have a regular size neck.” ~ Trevor Noah
“This impeachment is like a bad episode of Maury. There's all this evidence that Trump clearly cheated, and Republicans are still like, ‘But Maury, he loooooves me.’” ~ Michael Che, SNL
January 24, 2020
“It is a pivotal day in the history of the republic. Soon we’ll find out if breaking the law is illegal. Gotta say, so far I don’t like the odds.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“President Trump’s campaign manager last night dismissed the coverage of the impeachment trial, saying ‘It’s like watching paint dry.’ Y’know, like you do sometimes after you cover something up.” ~ Seth Meyers
“Does this mean Pelosi is President now?” ~ Stephen Colbert
“Democrats have a clear strategy in place. They believe that if they talk long enough, Mitch McConnell will eventually die of old age and they’ll have a shot at a real trial, which this is not.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“The rules state that during the trial senators are not allowed to drink anything but water and milk. Or as Mitt Romney calls it: a full bar.” ~ Conan O’Brien
“Look, guys, we know you’re going to acquit Trump, but do you really think that’ll be the end? You think there won’t be any more accomplices who snitch on Trump to protect themselves, or any more journalists who dig up proof of his guilt? Even if Trump is reelected, this Ukraine story will haunt him ’til the blessed day when he’s forcibly plunged out of the White House like a toilet clog.” ~ Samantha Bee
January 20, 2020
“We have someone in the highest office of our land who… acts like a child.” ~ Rep. Pramila Jayapal
“The President has acted like he’s in the 5th grade and to have someone who has that kind of character running the country, is an enormous problem at every level.” ~ Rep. Adam Schiff
“I agree with Adam Schiff that the President is acting like a fifth-grader. Although that insults fifth-graders. But clearly we do not have an adult in the White House.” ~ Sen. Mazie Hirono
“He behaves like a child. This is what we have in the White House now. I’m used to it. I’m not expecting a grownup any longer.” ~ Sen. Chris Murphy
“POTUS has become a potty-mouth.” ~ Speaker Nancy Pelosi
“All the composure of a four-year-old whose parents just told him they ate all his Halloween candy.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“[He reminds] me like when your child is in trouble and then you know they’re trying to get out of that trouble and then they get themselves in more trouble.” ~ Rep. Ilhan Omar
“He is as bewildered as a kindergartener at a seminar on string theory.” ~ George Will
January 17, 2020
“This is the latest twist in the Ukraine impeachment scandal: Giuliani’s former BFF man Lev Parnas says everyone in Trump World was involved: the president, Mike Pence, and even Attorney General Bill Barr. So many people are involved that they're gong to have to take a party bus to the trial.” ~ Trevor Noah
~ The Late Show
Lev Parnas clip: President Trump knew exactly what was going on. He was aware of all my movements. I wouldn’t do anything without the consent of Rudy Guiliani or the president."
“Jimmy Kimmel: Well there he is—the smoking goon.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel Live
“This is historic. It’s the first time anyone has used the phrase ‘Trump knew exactly what was going on.’” ~ Stephen Colbert
“Chief Justice John Roberts and members of the Senate took an oath to remain completely impartial during the impeachment trial. Then they all laughed for four hours.” ~ Conan O'Brien
“Following last night's debate, mayor Pete Buttigieg told reporters that he believes he would be the—quote—‘boldest president we’ve had in half a century.’ I don’t know if you’ve been watching the news, but we’re good on bold for awhile. If you want a winning slogan, how about ‘Make The News Boring Again?’” ~ Seth Meyers
January 10, 2020
“A dangerous new conflict in the Middle East launched by the U.S. government on a murky premise with razor-thin evidence. You know what that means? 2003 is back, baby! In 17 years we’ve come full circle, from yellow cake to chocolate cake. From ‘shock and awe’ to shockingly awful.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“According to the New York Times: ‘Officials presented the president with an initial list of options. The Pentagon also tacked on the choice of targeting General Soleimani mainly to make other options seem reasonable. When Mr. Trump chose the option of killing Soleimani, top military officials, flabbergasted, were immediately alarmed.’ We're three years into this administration and you didn’t know he was going to pick the craziest choice? The only choice Donald Trump should be allowed to make is Popeye’s or KFC.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“You can’t just kill a top general of a sovereign nation and call it de-escalation. That’s like getting drunk and driving your car into a Kmart and then telling the cops: I did it to stop my car.” ~ Seth Meyers
“As much as we insult the Trump administration, at least they're learning from America’s previous mistakes. In 2003 the Bush administration had a plan to go into Iraq, but no exit strategy. So now the Trump administration is like, ‘I see where we went wrong. This time: no entrance strategy. Lesson learned.’” ~ Trevor Noah
“Hopefully, Trump can get out of war with Iran by claiming bone spurs.” ~ Conan O’Brien
December 20, 2019
“President Trump has been impeached. You know, the serial racist criminal who’s already cheated in one election, obstructed justice in the investigation of that election, used his office to enrich himself, solicited bribes, inflicted human rights abuses on migrant families, been accused of sexual assault, had six close associates indicted or jailed…you remember that guy? You know, the one who almost definitely committed tax fraud, admitted he broke the law by misusing his personal charity to help his campaign, began his presidency by settling a fraud lawsuit over his scam university, orchestrated an extortion scheme to cheat in the 2020 election, tried to cover it up, got caught, obstructed Congress, directed a scheme to pay hush money to cover up an affair, and drove his golf cart onto the green? Yeah…that guy.” ~ Seth Meyers
“Impeachment. It’s when America moves its president to the ‘spam’ folder.” ~ Trevor Noah
“HISTORIC: Donald Trump just won a popular vote for the first time. ~ The Daily Show
“Not a single Republican voted for impeachment, which means they either really love Donald Trump or really hate Mike Pence.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
“Santa leaving coal for Republicans voting no on impeachment sounds great until you remember how much they love coal.” ~ Samantha Bee
“Once Trump is impeached, the case moves to the Senate, led by majority leader and clinically-depressed scrotum Mitch McConnell. McConnell has a simple plan for the impeachment trial: no impeachment trial.” ~ Stephen Colbert
“We did the dishwasher, right? You press it, boom, there’d be like an explosion. Five minutes later, you open it up, the steam pours out the dishes. Now, you press it 12 times. Women tell me again, you know, they give you four drops of water. And they’re in places where there's so much water they don’t know what to do with it. So we just came out with a rag on dishwashers, we’re going back to you. By the way, by the time they press it 10 times, you spend more on water and electric. Don’t forget. The whole thing is worse because you’re spending all that money on electric. Sinks, right? Showers, and what goes with a sink and a shower? 10 times, right, 10 times. Bam, bam, not me, of course not me, but you, but I never mentioned that because one time I mentioned all three, I said sinks, showers, and toilets.” ~ President Trump, who is compared to Jesus by his followers, during his Battle Creek rally as he was getting impeached
“Just shut the hell up and don’t ever preach to me about anything ever again. I don’t want to hear it… After telling me how to live my life, who to love, what to believe, what not to believe, what to do and what not to do and now you sit back and the prostitutes don’t matter? The grabbing the you-know-what doesn’t matter? The outright behavior and lies don’t matter? Just shut up.”
~ Michael Steele, the former Republican National Committee chairman, sharing his personal message to the religious right on MSNBC’s “Hardball” in January 2020
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Wears makeup and tapes his hair to his head.
Last week Wharton’s finest failed the easiest test that presidents are inevitably given when tragedy—like, say, a pandemic involving a "sticky" virus—strikes:
Reporter Peter Alexander last week: (March 8-14) What do you say to Americans who are scared?
Donald Trump: I say that you are a terrible reporter, that’s what I say. That’s a nasty question. You're doing sensationalism. And the same with NBC and Comcast. I don’t call it Comcast. I call it ‘Con-Cast.’ Let me just tell you something, that’s really bad reporting. And you ought to get back to reporting instead of sensationalism.
It’ll be nice putting brains and heart back in the White House again.
Tuesday, (March 17) his 2020 challenger was given the same question. See if you can tell a slight difference in tone. And content. And, like, being human:
MSNBC host Nicolle Wallace yesterday: What do you say to Americans who are scared?
Joe Biden: I've never been more proud to be an American. Ordinary people doing extraordinary things for their community, for their neighbors, for people down the street. They're scared yet they're uniting. The American people have been through some really, really tough times. They have never ever, ever failed our country. They deserve the straight-forward truth and they deserve economic assistance now so they're in a position that they can pay their bills. … We can do this. We have never gone into a crisis without coming out better than we were before, and we'll do it this time as well. But my heart goes out to those people who lost a son or daughter, husband or wife, mom or dad, in isolation. My god, they're incredible.
Happy answers to valid questions:
For instance, a niggling issue rattling around in the back of many of our minds: can the head of the Trump crime family use the coronavirus lockdown to cancel or delay the election?
Aaron keller at Law & Crime says: The answer, simply, is that no, he can’t. […] the president does not control how the election proceeds: the states do. And, if there is a failure, 3 U.S.C. § 19 controls: “If, by . . . . failure to qualify, there is neither a President nor Vice President to discharge the powers and duties of the office of President, then the Speaker of the House of Representatives shall, upon his resignation as Speaker and as Representative in Congress, act as President.”
~ The Late Show
